http://www.essence.com/essence/lifes...7096-2,00.html
Notes on a Scandal
After more than a decade of living in her husband’s shadow, Andrea Kelly, the estranged wife of embattled R&B crooner R. Kelly, sits down in an exclusive interview to talk about separating from him, starting life over, and, oh yes, that tape
By Natalie Y. Moore
Andrea Kelly saunters into the room with her stiletto boots clicking, her shoulder-length curls bouncing; she’s sparkling like the crystal hoops dangling from her ears. Despite her famous last name, few in the room know who she is. She’s used to that. Andrea has been ignored before, like in those posh stores near Chicago’s Gold Coast or in Los Angeles, where burly bouncers blocked her from crossing the velvet ropes—that is, until the gatekeeper found out who she was. Then it was “Oops.” Disbelief turned to immediate accommodation. And then came the apologies, “Sorry, Mrs. Kelly.” But mostly it’s, “I didn’t know he had a wife."
“He” is her husband, R. Kelly. Yes, the R. Kelly—the Grammy Award–winning R&B singer currently facing 14 counts of child pornography charges for allegedly videotaping himself having sex with an underage girl. Andrea, or Baby Girl, as she is called by those in the dance world, has shunned her husband’s larger-than-life spotlight. She says her priorities during her 11-year marriage have been shielding her three young children—two girls, 9 and 7, and a 5-year-old boy—from the fray and finding serenity even amid overwhelming controversy. Despite the rumors and allegations about her husband’s encounters with young girls, she refuses to play the role of the poor, downtrodden wife: “Some people in my position would probably be very broken right now, and they would probably be saying ‘woe is me.’ But I’m just not that person.”
RISING ABOVE THE PAIN
Andrea is in the midst of rehearsals for a showcase she is choreographing. In one piece she’ll dance to Mahalia Jackson’s solemn song from the movie Imitation of Life; the dancers pick her up, perhaps signifying that she is rising above her problems and transferring the pain. The interpretation is also a metaphor for her life.
When the videotape that shows a man resembling R. Kelly appearing to have sex with a young girl and urinating on her surfaced in 2002, the scandal rocked the music world and briefly cast Kelly as the villain. His former protégée Stephanie “Sparkle” Edwards publicly identified the girl in the tape as her 14-year-old niece. (The girl, however, continues to deny she was in the tape.) It became a gritty bootleg video watched and downloaded in homes across the country. The gossip was viral. In June of that year, Kelly was arrested and indicted on multiple counts of child pornography in connection with the tape. Kelly, who maintains it’s someone else in the video, has pleaded not guilty to all the charges and is awaiting a trial, which has been postponed several times.
Andrea was pregnant with their son when the news broke. Instead of breaking down, she blocked everything out. She said the couple worked hard to protect the family from the outside world, and the accusations forced her to become “a lioness” for her children and to live by adages she knows sound cliché but resonate nonetheless. While she smiles, she’s cautious and each answer seems carefully constructed. “What doesn’t break you makes you stronger, and I’m living proof,” she reflects. “After I went through that storm, look at me. I can still wake up and smile every day, and I’m still going on with my company and I’m living my life.”
Andrea does, however, shift uncomfortably when talking about the case against her husband; it’s a subject she’d rather leave alone. She does not allow her children to read the tabloids and will only permit them to be in the company of people she trusts. She keeps life for them as normal as possible: playdates with neighbors, parties and trips. But Andrea says she had to cut some people off who said nasty things about her husband, and surround herself with people who she believes care for her. “I know the allegations against my husband don’t reflect on me as an individual,” she says. “They don’t reflect on me as a mom or as a wife, and they don’t reflect on me in my everyday life.”
She allows that some news articles as well as court records are true. The couple did file for divorce in 2006. Andrea moved out of their home, and both hired top-notch attorneys. According to reports, she also filed an order of protection in September 2005, explaining to a judge that when she had told her husband she wanted a divorce, he became angry and hit her. She rescinded the protection order weeks later.
Attorneys for both announced the couple were trying to work out their problems. Still, it’s clear that Andrea’s pain is far from dormant. She will not comment on this situation, saying, “It’s old news.” She knows many think she filed for divorce because of the child pornography allegations. Wrong, she insists: “When there is a storm, I won’t leave you out in the rain. I’m no fair-weather wife.’’ Andrea says she also knows others will swear she filed for divorce because of the comments she made to the judge. Not true, she adds, claiming they just grew up and apart, as couples sometimes do.
Andrea says she also had to look within. “I have to take responsibility for myself,’’ she says. “I don’t want to sit here and act as if I have some halo over my head. A person has to ask, ‘How much did I allow?’ But I’ll tell you, whatever happens to us, I will love that man to the day I die.” And while she admits they are living separately, she says she and Robert are trying to work things out. But she acknowledges that together forever may not be their fate. “Do I know if we are going to be married in the next six months?’’ she says. “Who knows? But what I can say is that we filed this nearly three years ago, and we are still married.”
There are happy memories of laughter and beach vacations, of the singer taking the ingenue to Europe for the first time, and the couple building a life together with their children. She knows her husband’s favorite foods and the different sides of a man who isn’t the king of bump and grind at home, just Daddy. “We are doing all the same things the Joneses are doing, but unfortunately, our last name is Kelly,” Andrea says of their efforts to reconcile. When asked if she still loves her husband, she replies, “Very much.”
IN THE BEGINNING
Thirteen years ago, a friend called a then 20-year-old Andrea Lee and urged her to try out as a dancer for R. Kelly’s upcoming tour. She rolled her eyes, remembering the time she was rejected from one of his previous video auditions. But her friend insisted, and Andrea acquiesced. She got the gig to join the 12 Play tour.
Andrea immediately scoped the bland choreography—imagine a milquetoast Vegas theme and outdated dances like the Running Man—and raised her hand. “Uh-uh, I’m not doing that,” she recalls saying. Kelly, who calls her Drea and sometimes Baby Girl, challenged her to choreograph instead. When he returned from playing basketball, he saw that Andrea had arranged three dances. Since then she’s choreographed and danced for the Best of Both Worlds, Key in the Ignition and TP2.com tours; the BMI Urban, BET and Billboard awards shows; and music videos for “Happy People,” “Thoia Thoing” and “You Remind Me of Something.”
Around this time, in the summer of 1994, 27-year-old Kelly secretly married 15-year-old R&B singer Aaliyah, but the marriage was eventually annulled. Meanwhile, Andrea’s own relationship with Kelly blossomed during those long hours on the road. “It’s a love story,’’ she says. He dazzled her with his humor, telling her yo’ mama jokes and doing impressions. “He’s silly, and I am just a silly person. He’s a jokester,’’ she says.“We started out just as friends—artist and choreographer. You are traveling on the bus. The more you are together, the more you learn.”
The two were married in 1996 in a small, nontraditional ceremony in Colorado. Two homes, many backyard barbecues and three children followed. In better days they smile into cameras like young lovers. In one photograph they’re laughing and teasing each other as they cook in the backyard. But as the couple settled into domesticity, controversy dogged their heels.
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Six months ago, Andrea says, she never would have imagined talking to Essence, or any publication, for that matter. Careful not to say anything to hurt her estranged husband or family, she had always refused requests for interviews. “I have two daughters and a son. They may say, ‘Mom and Dad went through a storm.’ But it’s not the storm I want them to remember, it’s how their mom came out of it.”
There have been so many lies, so many rumors and half-truths, she notes. One article claimed her family members were afraid for her because they couldn’t get in touch with her. Untrue, Andrea says, exasperation peppering her voice. “We live right here in Chicago,” she says. “How could you not know where I am? It’s not as if I am overseas.”
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R. Kelly's estranged wife speaks!
