I Still Can Talk At Least
I’m going to do a lot of talking. I already called the players … Damon Jones … Larry … LeBron didn’t want to pick up the phone because he already knew what was going to happen. The message is, “Punks jump up to get beat down.” Same thing I was saying last year, I’m saying it this year. This ain’t going to be no easy win so you can go ahead and get that out your head. You better come up with a real game plan because we are comin’.
That’s why I’m going on the road trip, I’m going to sit right behind their bench and just talk all day. I’m going to just talk about the whole team from start to finish and try to do my part by irritating them.
Team Confidence is High
Right before the season ended they played the Cavs and it was a close game so you know, the guys are feeling confident that they can make this a series. As long as all the cylinders are clicking, you know, we’ll see what happens.
I'm Available to Play vs. Cleveland
Caron is taking the cast off on Tuesday, so I think he’s going to try and be ready to play for Games 3 and 4. It’s going to be a big lift because those guys will be happy to see him back and he’ll bring his energy. And then if they go to Game 5 I’m coming in, I’m going to play. All they are going to do is just sit me in the corner for offense and I’m going to shoot threes, just in case it comes down to a game winner. I still got the Hibachi going. I mean, I can’t walk or run, but I’m going to try. Hell, I could play Games 1-4, just stick me in the corner.
So if I suit up, you all know what it’s for. It’s for three seconds left, stick me in the corner so I can shoot it.
Get my Jersey Tomorrow
I’ve just been signing all these jerseys. Wooo, aw man, it’s been hectic. Less than 24 hours to go. Everybody needs to get ready. Get ready to go to GilsArena.com to get your jersey and shoe. I checked it out the last time in the first couple hours after I blogged and 4,000 people were already registered. But they got confused. It starts Saturday.
I’m going to give out some cool gifts for certain numbers. Whoever that first person is, they might get an All-Star Agent Zero jersey. Probably the top three people will get that actually. A signed, personalized All-Star jersey along with the other jersey. They’ll get both just for being up that early.
Big Announcement
And I got a big, big, big announcement to make in a couple days. A real big one. To me, it’s really that big. It might be Saturday or Sunday, it might be the first home game here in Washington. It’s big. It’s good, oh man.
Here’s a hint: there’s going to be four million of them. That’s the only hint I can give you.
Obama and Me
Of course we’ll win the election. As long as he has me, we’re winning.
We’ll be co-presidents. He can handle all the big stuff like the war in Iraq and all that, and I’ll keep everybody distracted off what he’s doing. I’ll be the entertainer.
I’ll do the press conferences. I’ll play the Bush part. I’ll be the golfer, I’ll go golf for 14 hours. I’ll party for half a week. I’ll do that, I’ll have fun with that.
And then Barack can handle all that important stuff.
My Postseason Awards: The Hibachis
MVP: I want to see Steve Nash win it again, but I have to give it to Dirk. The Mavs are the No. 1 team in the league.
Defensive Player of the Year: The Bulls’ team.
Coach of the Year: Jeff Van Gundy.
Rookie of the Year: I already got his jersey. That’s my man Roy.
Sixth Man: I’m not going to go with Ginobili because he was a starter. Give me Barbosa.
Most Improved: Monta Ellis.
Best Showman: Me, unfortunately. Hands down.
Most Swag: Oh man, that’s me again. I can’t keep winning these. People are going to start getting offended.
Best Dressed: I don’t even look at people like that. You only see it when they show it on TV when they’re coming to the game …
Does Jalen Rose still play?
OK, Jalen Rose.
Most Underrated: If you’re in the NBA are you really underrated? But let’s go with Kevin Martin.
Best Video Gamer: Madden - Tie between Brendan Haywood and Juan Dixon.
NBA Live - If you got the cheat codes on, then me.
Halo - In the summer it was Adam Morrison, but I think we got a rematch now. I want to see him again. I’ve been practicing a lot.
(Speaking of video games, my video game team Final Boss just won the championship in Charlotte, N.C. We’re No. 1 again. So I want to give my shout out to Strong Side, Walshy and the two brothers: Orge 1 and Orge 2. We’re unstoppable now. We’re heading to the Meadowlands June 8-10 and you best believe I will be there.)
Best Hops: James White. You’re all thinking, "Who the hell is James White?"
Best Looking Kids: I won that too. I don’t like to talk about anybody else’s kids in a disparaging way, but I won that too. You know, my genes is pretty good, a handsome guy like myself.
Less Than 24 Hours
For all my jersey collectors, you got a couple hours so get your sleep now. I’ll be waiting for those names to click in. I’ve been signing them. I’ve been doing my part, you got to do your part.
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Arenas says he will play this series, endorses Obama, and is talkin sh!t to the cavs
