whooo's ya daddy!
hell,i probably used my minute up when i was doing cocaine backstage.its alright though,the producer did his 3 lines and told me "take as much time as you want"
Anybody believe adam and eve was dummy's?I mean they wuz the first known humans,i bet they illterate a$$'s had speech inpetiment's
jus look at the words we got in the dictionary..God told Adam to name everything,you ever think english started like this..
Adam was walkin in the garden lookin at leaves and God spoke to him And ju know God be all homie G like and say "wazz pimpin pimpin? you know wha fhck you gon call that green sh!t on that branch der?"
Adam cant see god, and he be stupified for a moment then he lookin round and den he think bout them berries he ate then he jus go wid it and stutter "dis-be-lief"
And God be like"leaf" and Adam get all sad Cuz he thought God was displeased,
God be like "damn,whaz that homo's problem?"So god be like waitin and waitin and adam never returned,and God jus got fed up so he said,"daamn, i gotta get Adam back to doin my work"So god plottin righ,and he come up wid an idea he gon make adam sum pus$y..sum that feel good phucky fruit,God then sent his best lil midget out,and told him "when you find adam,hit him in the knee wid a rock" and so the lil midget went on his short way,and he found adam,adam was in garden touching his penis cuz it was jus the thing right around ya hands at that time,lil midget crept up and he step'd in some fresh dookie,damn,.I know sh!t smell when i step in it'that midget eys and nostrails mussa been ballin,but that wasnt going to stop the midget, he crept and gag'd and he still hit adam in the kneecap.
Adam then tumbled to the ground and was knocked out..
So tha lil midget ran his short a$$ back to where god was and told god where adam was.God found adam,and while adam was asleep..god was wondering how to make a woman,and he got hungry and he jus ate adam whole..all cept one rib..God was one Phat fhck now,and now he gotta make adam and eve..so he like "wha i do now"? But god be smart, so he jus took a minute and made adam out of dust..and he took adam's rib'and he made eve from it..and Adam was still knocked out,he didnt know he was ate by god,and he didnt know he had sum feel good phucky fruit waitin on him.So adam woke and he seen eve..She was hot..God had good taste in phucky fruit..and eve, she was jus beautiful and nekked i might add..Adam was like slobbering all over his chin,and his eye's was jus not blinkin,And God appeared and say'd "Adam, why you not fresh towd me?" And adam said "dis-be-lief" and pointed to the leafy flower on some branch.And god laughed cuz he finnaly knew hhow dumb adam was..And Gob be like "Adam,i know you are sick and tired of bein lonely..So i made you sum fresh phucky fruit..her name is eve" Ans adam be like "Dis-as-ter" And God was like "yes this as$ there" and Adam was pleased,cuz eve thought penis was a popsickle and she liked licking things anyway,so adam got alot of head' bobbin to his new found english..I mean it aint been 8 day's,and God done seen adam predict the worlds ending "Disbelief" and "disaster" and it all over some leaf and sum phucky fruit..tru dat..God was pleased..for awhile he was, then he kick'd both those sorry a$$ nympho's out the garden and God quit speaking to adam..but adam still speaking to God..
his wife grown fat and she had a kid,and adam held the kid over his head and screamed to God "Dis-able".
damn, the bible was phucky frsh
and that's a rap
__________________
The Government isnt going to do anything about our fuel prices, global warming or our unemployment rates. The government doesnt care about your health care or about how many people will die because of the issues above. It's time that WE as a UNITED POPULA
lookin round and den he think bout them berries he ate then he jus go wid it and stutter "dis-be-lief"
-hehe, what follows this makes it clever
God be like "damn,whaz that homo's problem?"So god be like waitin and waitin and adam never returned,and God jus got fed up so he said,"daamn, i gotta get Adam back to doin my work"So god plottin righ,and he come up wid an idea he gon make adam sum pus$y..s
-u ghetto son
that whole midget part was mad animated
i just picture the muthafcka tiptoing up and sht
lol @ the sht
"Dis-as-ter" And God was like "yes this as$ there"
lol
In the immortal words of some dope fiend
"we muss keep rollin"
Anybody got oldskool grandparents?
Mang I was ridn with my grandparents last week
and my gramamah ran over a cat..didnt even try to stop
..I'll never forget what my granpa told my grammaah,
he said "pull over'I wann eat that pus$y"
Anybody got oldskool O.G. grandparents
Maaan I luv the USA
Yes its jus groovy,you know sum hippie made this werd up
talkin bout groping and groupies he prolly
so gotdamn trip'd out he cant say both words insequence
he jus say "hey man theres a party tonight "its just groovy man"
*pauses*
anybody here live in the Richard nixon era
yeaah you know some extremist be like "What's your thoughts on the president?" I be combatin that era well
"he's a d!ck,I jus call him d!ckman"
yo i wonder..wha if he was named Richard nutson
wouldnt you jus have a field day in class..
Oh, my report?yes ms deetee its all done
she be in the first sentence
"**** nuts on somebody who is the president"
Yeah mhthaphuck im guarenteed an e in that class
Oh shhh I jus cant help myself,
Shhh
Once I masterbated and sprained my wrist
once i ejaculated and spraind my hip
and that's was the only time i came to the hospital
anybody eat deermeat?
I ate deermeat once,I was told it was a baby doe
you know i was like "daaamn fetus taste this good?"
shhh if i knew baby taste this good inbetween some buns
i wouldve been eatin children a long time ago
Mang childhood was crazy',my momma had 4 kid's including me
and they was all these babies running around the house,and there
was this one time I whooped all they runt a$$'s..
my momma dont beleive it,cuz she keep sayin i was an only child,
"who tha fhck know's,I karate budakii sum baby butt though
I dont give a fhck if they was imaginary..I whooped they a$$"
I told my momma that,you know what she did..
she sent me to the corner with the rest of them.
that's it..fineto' In the words of wade county correctional center
we ending this sh!t with sumthing from reighning RnB''s "fresh b!tch"
yeah this qoute is from the song, "I GOT A PROBLEM"
"I got a problem,
lil suzie needs help with her horny hampster,
she asked me if i knew why it liked to jump
around in my pants"-R.kelly
Damn that's still the jam,from myself and T he Comedy Minute Peaceout1
__________________
The Government isnt going to do anything about our fuel prices, global warming or our unemployment rates. The government doesnt care about your health care or about how many people will die because of the issues above. It's time that WE as a UNITED POPULA
Mang do you know the definition for jasmine?
I looked it up for a friend and told him
"it say jasmine grow's in warm places"
He said"Shhh if she grow there I dont wanna see it"
ya'll read books?
I tried reading a book by dante
man was he jus on sum crazy sh!t
I couldnt get on that
anybodt read books on crack?
I did sum crack and tried reading dante again
get this tha man showed up in flesh and entertained
me for about 3 minutes..yeah'
then i did more crack
crazzzzy crazzzzzy sh!t you do on crack,
Last week i smoekd cocain,yees some crazzzy shhh!t you do on crack
ever get wid a girl who wants to lick the inside of your
a$$hole?yeah freeky b!tch, but when you get down to da nitty grit
that ho jus talkin sh!t..I knew i shouldve gAve that b!tch a tic-tac before i kissed her.she had sh!tbreathe..ever been wid a girl who immediatly make you want to throw up ,crosseyed b!tch look all over tha palce,and her breathe stnak,smell like she be brushin her gril wid toilet water,and her legs' ever seen them b!thc;s wid strechmarks?
those is the one you run from gotdamnit!,lawd' she may be fine now,but wait 3 week's, sum heifer be knockin on your aparment door,talkin bout how you said you luv'd her and told her she was a whole lot of woman..be like thru the peep hole'' yeah i said that,but gotdamn!you's a whole lot of women's..damn!
I hate waking up beside a phat b!tch,you be all upside down,and she be huggin ya leg like chickenbone..you cant get up'..hell naww you
cant get up..it say on the discovery channel hippo's are prone to attack when awakened..Daamn,So i be layin by this phat b!tch,passin gas hopin she smell sumthin she like..and i be fannin that sh!t her way..tryna get her big a$$ off tha scent my foot..i got get dat hell up out of here!
Oh phat b!tch.
Mic Lounge, T he Comedy Minute, peaceOut1
__________________
The Government isnt going to do anything about our fuel prices, global warming or our unemployment rates. The government doesnt care about your health care or about how many people will die because of the issues above. It's time that WE as a UNITED POPULA
Last edited by ONE_MIC_ETERNAL; 05-23-03 at 12:32 AM.
This is thread for antbody who wants to share there sense of humor,
keylo that was good,..
__________________
The Government isnt going to do anything about our fuel prices, global warming or our unemployment rates. The government doesnt care about your health care or about how many people will die because of the issues above. It's time that WE as a UNITED POPULA
Once in awhile i'll sleep near dead people
jus last week i slept right beside a lot reserved for scott peterson
__________________
The Government isnt going to do anything about our fuel prices, global warming or our unemployment rates. The government doesnt care about your health care or about how many people will die because of the issues above. It's time that WE as a UNITED POPULA
ya'll read books?
I tried reading a book by dante
man was he jus on sum crazy sh!t
I couldnt get on that
anybodt read books on crack?
I did sum crack and tried reading dante again
get this tha man showed up in flesh and entertained
me for about 3 minutes..yeah'
then i did more crack
crazzzzy crazzzzzy sh!t you do on crack,
Last week i smoekd cocain,yees some crazzzy shhh!t you do on crack
__________________
The Government isnt going to do anything about our fuel prices, global warming or our unemployment rates. The government doesnt care about your health care or about how many people will die because of the issues above. It's time that WE as a UNITED POPULA
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Mic lounge presents T he Comedy Minute
