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SUNZ
12-04-07, 03:42 PM
So i'm browsing through the web on my favourite website and i see this article saying someone lost 14 kilos in 2 weeks.. I'm thinking to myself, what bull****. Anyway, i have a read and apparently its this diet/fad call it what you wanna and its endorsed by all the usual suspects Beyonce and other miscellaneous artists.

The diet goes like this, 10 times a day, you drink a concoction thats 1/2 a lemon, 1/10th table spoon cayenne pepper, water and 1 spoon of maple syrup. Here's the catch, you take this drink 10 times a day for 14 days, YOU EAT NOTHING ELSE.. AND YOU LOSE WEIGHT. Oh and before i forget to mention, since youre not eating any fibre, you take a laxative at night, and in the morning you drink 1 glass of saltwater(Water+2 tablespoons salt). That makes you throw up, sometimes from both ends even.

I figured, me not eat for 14 days, impossible.. So i decided to challenge myself and see how far i could go, knowing damn well I was gonna push it way past the recommended time period and more.

It went something like this.
Day 1- Extremely hungry, this felt like a completely stupid thing to have to resort to.. Keep in mind all these feelings were in my head between 8am-10am, thats only 2 hrs of dieting, and like 300+ more hours to go. Skipping past all the hunger pains, Got to sleep around midnight and had my laxative. Wont mention the initial weight

Day 2- Woke up, no bowel movement. Took the concoction, got suited and off to catch the train for work(10 min walk). 2 Minutes from the train station and a vile gaseous mess starts brewing in my stomach.. As a regular dude i figured i can just let this air out and K.I.M, but lo and behold, that saltwater concoction decides to kick in. I felt like I was getting punked as what ensued really needs a picture to illustrate, now theres lukewarm **** slowly making its way past my knees, into my socks.. Yup. This my friends, was a great great FML moment. So i run home and clean myself off.

After this mishap,i decide, the only way i can make sense of this whole fiasco would be to see it though to the end. Add to that, since i went home, i grabbed some gym clothes and hit the gym(not having eaten in over 20 plus hours).

I decided against other people's better judgment to do a spin class(cycling for 45 minutes/interval training). It was all good 15-20 minutes into it, but then it hit the 30minute mark and everyone was instructed it was time for a hill climb. Anyway, long story short, i had a serious headspin once the class was over, coupled with feeling tired and sick. But all worth it.

Day 3- Its like this thing gets harder everday. woke up, took my saltwater concoction, threw up a little in my mouth(oh so you wont kiss me now huh), and sped off to work. had a 1hr walk for lunch(as well as climbing up around 8 flights of steps 16 times). Then went to weight myself, so far i've dropped 2kg. So now I've also stated the 300 workout(yes the workout from the movie 300). Which goes

* 25 pull-ups
* 50 deadlifts at 135 pounds+
* 50 push-ups
* 50 box jumps with a 24-inch box
* 50 "floor wipers" (a core and shoulders exercise at 135 pounds)
* 50 "clean and press" at 36 pounds (a weight-lifting exercise)
* 25 more pull-ups -- for a total of 300 reps

Alternating between that and jogging up steps every other day.


Day 4-salwater concoction still tastes like ****. I weighed myself when i got off the train as the pharmacy is next to the office, another 1 kg gone. Kept drinking the mix, used the bathroom about 6 times before lunch, not pretty. So far the **** sprints out or should i say shoots out your ass like a water fountain.. exactly like one, its quite unconfortable being that passing loose stool is definately not one of my favourite past times, it all feels like a jail experience gone wrong. But, focusing on the goal ahead, I MUST NOT BREAK. For lunch today, I did some excercise n the gym

Day 6-Another weight in, another kilo. Must be all water weight or something. So far, feeling lighter, not hungry, actually, well put off food. No thoughts of eating so i can concentrate on other stuff. Forgot the laxative tonight.

Day 7-I'm starting to love these weigh in's. 1 more kilo down(does the i'm losin kilo's dance).

Day 8- Yup. .5kg lost

Day 9 -I'm movin weight(stop snitchin). So far so good. This has been a good excercise in willpower so far. Just watching people eat all sorts of unhealthy stuff is inspiration enough. Plus my grocery budget is now like $10 a week

Day 10 - Hunger pains, no bowel movements. increased concentration,feeling lights, looking lighter, Ab's, they came outta nowehere(but i am/was excercisin). Wastin alot of time infront of the mirror.

Day 11-Like clockwork

Day 12-Mandatory weight check. 1kg lost.

Day 13-The straw that broke the camels back. So i decided to fly to melbourne for a beatmakers competition(and ate nothing on the plane).After avoiding food and shopping malls all night even though i only arrived @ 10pm, getting lost and finding the venue 15 minutes before i went on(powered by water and cayenne pepper). Even though i did lose(in round 3), I won. I met 4 separate people who invited me to their studio's, as well as got distribution and some interesting contacts and even managed to holla @ the king of crunk.

Ok i lost the point ,i didnt drink or eat that night.

Day 14- Emecca stuffed the whole thing up. As i went over to his house where he offered me something he'd cooked that smelt like it has Jesus/Allah's,Buddha's and Juda's seal of approval(i hope i covered all major religions adequately). Man God damn, that was some good chickin.... Undone, Ruined, A failure. Damn you. Besides the chicken(which was pretty damn good), I think we drank 3 bottles between the 4 of us(or people that appeared in my mind as i drank more).Wait, it was Jida and Jacqueline,Ok so 11kg in 14 days.

Moral of the story ? None.

11kg, 14 days, No food, Was it worth it. Temporarily yes, Long term no.

elle simple
12-04-07, 09:07 PM
I cant believe you just reposted this about you crapping urself :weirdo: and am tempted to delete this altogether.

You messed up from the jump doing it for weight loss purposes, and you really messed up at the end by binge eating and drinking. Finally, you didnt even talk about any real long term effects but presume to have some kind of insight??

Like so much doodoo down ur pant leg, way to keep the misinformation flowing. :thumbsdow

caramellady85
12-06-07, 06:41 AM
I cant believe you just reposted this about you crapping urself :weirdo: and am tempted to delete this altogether.

You messed up from the jump doing it for weight loss purposes, and you really messed up at the end by binge eating and drinking. Finally, you didnt even talk about any real long term effects but presume to have some kind of insight??

Like so much doodoo down ur pant leg, way to keep the misinformation flowing. :thumbsdow
give into temptation....

youngeurow
12-06-07, 10:13 AM
i did it and kept the weight off now im trying to get ripped like ja so i can sing in the rain with no shirt on :)

I_Spits_Da_Truth
12-24-07, 04:02 AM
These master cleanse threads just never seem to disappear... Live clean and there is no need for this $hit. A lifestyle change is needed as opposed to these fad quick fixes. But I digress because it all seems to fall on deaf ears anyway.

SunAlmighty
12-31-07, 03:54 PM
well you arent supposed to use it for WEIGHT LOSS, its supposed to be for detoxifying the body. lazy ni66as who dont wanna work out use it for that. and after that 10 days is up, you are supposed to go to soups and broths, work your way into salads and stuff. but just to jump right into solid foods (chicken, burgers and pizza) all that you did was in vain

VAmami
01-07-08, 08:52 PM
well you arent supposed to use it for WEIGHT LOSS, its supposed to be for detoxifying the body. lazy ni66as who dont wanna work out use it for that. and after that 10 days is up, you are supposed to go to soups and broths, work your way into salads and stuff. but just to jump right into solid foods (chicken, burgers and pizza) all that you did was in vain

Exactly, actually jumping right into solid foods can be very, very harmful.... Detoxing the body with the master cleanse is a good way to jumpstart a diet or a lifetime of healthy eating and shouldnt be used as some quick fix to lose a few pounds....

dat boy rh
01-09-08, 12:33 AM
i' ll pass homey.
:thumbsdow