Postpartum

[dormircommeunsonneur]

Closest thing to me,
Yet such a strong feeling of separation.
Confined together for 9 long months,
Still to me you are a stranger.
You cry and I cringe.
Why won’t the noise stop? Still I rise and attend to your pleas.
Wipe your tears, feed and change you.
Still you holler, and I too; on the inside.
I want to run, but the maternal bind is stronger that the urge to abandon you.
So I stick around by your crib and rock you,
Unlike the man who helped to make you.
Rather deny than help to raise you.
Hug another than to hold you.
Splurge with his last than invest in you.
So why do I try so hard?
Slaving, scraping, and saving.
Revolving my life around you.
Can’t I leave to?
Guess that choice was before the intercourse that led to your conception.
Now I sit and count the “what if’s” during my escapes from this deception.
Yet I’m still glad I rethought that abortion.
Memories of my mother raising 3 on her own.
Can’t I handle 1.
Give and teach you more.
Raise a real man.
Damn this depression.
I’m trying but this is hard.
Just give me time and I promise I’ll be a good mom.

[homeyjay]

Closest thing to me,
Yet such a strong feeling of separation.
Confined together for 9 long months,
Still to me you are a stranger.
You cry and I cringe.
Why won’t the noise stop? Still I rise and attend to your pleas.
Wipe your tears, feed and change you.
Still you holler, and I too; on the inside.
I want to run, but the maternal bind is stronger that the urge to abandon you.
So I stick around by your crib and rock you,
Unlike the man who helped to make you.
Rather deny than help to raise you.
Hug another than to hold you.
Splurge with his last than invest in you.
So why do I try so hard?
Slaving, scraping, and saving.
Revolving my life around you.
Can’t I leave to?
Guess that choice was before the intercourse that led to your conception.
Now I sit and count the “what if’s” during my escapes from this deception.
Yet I’m still glad I rethought that abortion.
Memories of my mother raising 3 on her own.
Can’t I handle 1.
Give and teach you more.
Raise a real man.
Damn this depression.
I’m trying but this is hard.
Just give me time and I promise I’ll be a good mom.
Big ups to ya', that's why I love my moms and every single mother out there
doin' da do. You won't be a good mom you will be a great one, watch, this is just "on da job trainin". But you got the right attitude and that's what counts. Just because you weren't with a real man like you said you can at least raise one to be a blessing for some mother's daugther. Way to be real, goodin'

[Nadira...Rare]

felt:hug:

[sexydeltagirl]

Really deep! I encourage you to speak to your doctor asap! there are medications that you can take as well as support groups for new mothers that can be of some assistance.

I wish you the best! and you are capable of being a good mom if you try...

[dormircommeunsonneur]

Many thanks. You guys and so many others on this site write really great pieces. I’m not a writer, I read way more, and with all the **** on the shelves today, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be published – i.e. homeyjay.
Thanks for taking a peak and encouraging. And I hear what your saying sexyd., but all that anti-prescribed stuff and a new kid don’t really mix. But I do have support, especially within this virtual community.