Bogey_J
10-23-07, 11:19 PM
Madness. Insanity. The face of a murderer before he strikes. That moment...That instance in finding a moment in which to strike. I wanted the excuse. I needed the excuse. I was cold, sad, and alone.
Speak to me...
I wanted answers. I wanted the answers I wanted to hear. It didn't matter anymore...The truth is overrated. How was I supposed to know what was real now? My own thoughts had betrayed me. This labyrinth that I thought I had figured out crumbled before me. My enemy is nameless and faceless and cruel...But real. Real to me. I am not imagining this. What the fu*k is he looking at? I ought to pick up this bat and slam it down on his goddamned head. Motherfu*ker. I hate you. Leave me alone. I just want to be left alone.
Please...
Too many thoughts racing through my head. I feel like my mind is going to collapse on itself. fu*k. I feel dead. I mean, I was alive but I wasn't really living. Dead and going through the motions of life...Or at least how I was programmed to live. Peace is hard to come by here. Just noise and movement. Noise and movement cluttering my brain not allowing me a moment to think. Just end it already. Pick up this gun and blow your fu*king brains out. DO IT, DO IT, DO IT. Do it you fu*king pus*y. Yeah, I thought so. I knew you wouldn't. You don't have the heart. You never did.
SHUT UP!
The last cigarette is always the best one. My poison of choice; it kills the pain. Now nothing...My mind is my own worst enemy.
Speak to me...
I wanted answers. I wanted the answers I wanted to hear. It didn't matter anymore...The truth is overrated. How was I supposed to know what was real now? My own thoughts had betrayed me. This labyrinth that I thought I had figured out crumbled before me. My enemy is nameless and faceless and cruel...But real. Real to me. I am not imagining this. What the fu*k is he looking at? I ought to pick up this bat and slam it down on his goddamned head. Motherfu*ker. I hate you. Leave me alone. I just want to be left alone.
Please...
Too many thoughts racing through my head. I feel like my mind is going to collapse on itself. fu*k. I feel dead. I mean, I was alive but I wasn't really living. Dead and going through the motions of life...Or at least how I was programmed to live. Peace is hard to come by here. Just noise and movement. Noise and movement cluttering my brain not allowing me a moment to think. Just end it already. Pick up this gun and blow your fu*king brains out. DO IT, DO IT, DO IT. Do it you fu*king pus*y. Yeah, I thought so. I knew you wouldn't. You don't have the heart. You never did.
SHUT UP!
The last cigarette is always the best one. My poison of choice; it kills the pain. Now nothing...My mind is my own worst enemy.