Dreaming of Genies

[BreakCanon]

I dream of genies,
Leering greedily at the scenery,
Obscenity realized only after inhaling the greenery,
Rub it the right way and a few wishes may be yours,
Just don’t make it your business to make list making a chore,
Scores of men have endeavored to render their’s clever,
Only to realize that their choices severed them from the population,
In frustration, many a mans second wish entails reversion,
Thus requiring an entirely unnecessary diversion.

Pull the curtains across your eyes to block out the skies,
Walk across the vacant stage blindfolded and numb,
Stumble past the barriers and reach the Holy Grail,
I can’t tell you what I found, but it is what dreams entail.

Chasing needles in haystacks will fill you with holes,
Empty you of innocence and prevent normal growth,
You will have nothing to show for it,
Except for a few useless needles,
But the quest in itself is a metaphor for freedom.

Abounding hands may grasp at the pillars of freedom,
While uttering hymns praising the god who provided the eyes to see them,
It’s a matter of finding your place in the line,
In time to fulfill your desires without having to lie.

Success is not an end in-and-of- itself,
The fact that you are breathing is success enough,
What makes a life successful is not the wish fulfilled,
It’s the knowledge that somewhere there was a void that you filled.

[CaseyJones]

great concept and lyrics, probably my favorite thing ive seen posted here.

[MaCRonI]

nice drop...like a keystyle with a peotic gloss to it....good mettas and multis here duke. nice drop!!!!

8.4/10

[Sicilian Spit]

I disagree. Concept was aight, but I wasn't feelin the rhymin, and there really weren't any multis except in the beginning. Some of it didn't really make contextual sense to me. I think the challenge in rhymin is being able to get your points across while still showing off the rhyme skills, and I think the second part of that equation is lacking here. First couple lines were my favorite, and the paragraph wit the metaphor for freedom part.

[BreakCanon]

Ta Casey and Mac.

Sicillian, hey, to each his own man. I like the first couple of lines as well, but the freedom stanza is in my opinion the weakest. What made you like it?

As for contextual sense, you may have to break out the dictionary, no offense. Most of it makes sense...I think you are refering to my habit of jumping around, which I have tried to dampen in my latest work.

Thanks for the feedback.

P.S. I think Tony Soprano is a Neopolitan, rather than Sicilian. The Godfather and his progeny were Sicilian. Just thought I'd let you know.

[Sicilian Spit]

Ya, I know, I just like the Sopranos as a show. Trust me, my family is from the same region as the Corleones. The town of Corleone is only an hour drive from where my Sicilian relatives still live.

But I really don't need the dictionary, there weren't any words or phrases I didn't understand, it was just kinda choppy for me and it jumped around like you said. And I don;t understand the "their's clever" line.