You wanna break me

[Mukel]

You wanna break me, but you cant fake me,
my lifes at stake, my whole bodys achin,
making a choice, one true voice,
makes you sh*t in your pants like the brown noise,
palms moist, tummy rumbles,
im feelin like muhammed ali in the jungle,
gotta keep pace, my legs are racing,
facing dilemmas, gods makin me hate him,
my chances of winning are nothin to slim,
glass filling up, pain tippin over the brim,
its grim, feeling the struggle, and struggle is hurtin me,
bubble is popped, like the bullet did my pop's,
mysterys unsolved, yet are taxes pay the cops,
when will it stop, on the run, for poppin a gun,
feelin out of breath, my lifes foresaken,
im caught, im nervous, my bodys shakin,
dont fake gangsta, your momma wont thank ya,
wishin when i was young id have got a spankin,
maybe id be thankful for a tougher upbringing,
gospel choire singing at church, harmony excists,
my lifes been a disappointment, wake up,
a dream non the less, go to the bathroom,
rub my face with my water in anointment,
just another tale for my psychiatrist appointment,

[Ecliptik]

this wasnt bad....alot better then the other stuff youve done lately....starts off really rough and simple.....picks up a bit and the flow seems to get enhanced alot more.....that pain tipping over the brim line was prolly my favorite.....keep it up

*shameless plug* "Blackout" ft. Cali Bud coming soon *shameless plug*

[theman080]

That title sounds like some **** right before prison rape, no homo, anyway...

Dropping........





you gotta work on your wording, sometimes things come across reaaaaaly forced, there is improvements here, your flows pickin up but yeah....


makes you sh*t in your pants like the brown noise
^^^maybe in your part of the country thats slang but I never been somewhere where someone went "Ay yo, awww man, roll down the windows this guy just brown noised big time..." or "You just brown noise yaself?"


maybe id be thankful for a tougher upbringing,
gospel choire singing at church, harmony excists,
Nothin against spoken word no rhymin type ish but the rest of your peice rhymes and this breaks off into some random talking like 03-06 Prodigy

There's a few other times when your forcing rhymes as well, its not a big deal when they dont get in the way of your peice but in this case they do so yeah...




knowledge^^^^^^^^^^

Stay Up

[Sicilian Spit]

I guess you can't tell for sure by just reading but I always feel like Mukel's stuff is off beat. This was better than a lot of stuff, but I just think you should shy away from punchlines if they aint hittin. You got other stuff to work on before you can really start comin wit the punches.