MaCRonI
07-21-07, 01:09 AM
The Harrowing Freedom of Nostalgia
http://www.bbc.co.uk/cambridgeshire/content/images/2004/11/30/ghost_203_203x152.jpg
Verse 1
I’m on the run, barely able to gasp/
Inches away from life’s grasp/
It’s leash disregarded, it’s muzzle tarnished/
with ungrateful thoughts I regard it/
But my mind was never guarded/
From harm it inflict on those who turn a blind eye on it/
Disrespectful comments you cast on it/
Ironic, how I thought I had it by reigns/
Until I’m fleeing from, with it slowly on the gain/
I used to entertain a life of mediocrity/
And mockery I chose as my sole property/
When I ignore school, challenge my parent’s rule/
Treat others cruel, think I’d never meet life’s ghouls/
Because I would get wonderful adulthood I didn’t deserve/
Coming to wake every morning, curse my past hateful words/
But at the sometime think it absurd that I should live in shambles/
Lies I’d force myself to ramble, truths too difficult to handle/
Until I was finally backed into a corner, confront with my former/
Ugliness, not wantin to confess, I was too ashamed to regret/
So I jet, bystanders wonder what could make me so upset/
Fleeing from thin air, but I could feel it was everywhere/
Strangled by my own despair, I retreated into my own nightmares/
Hook
Lately, the life ill’s have me pinned in a corner/
Eating away at me slowly, petrifying me with its horror/
Constant chaos and disorder, sometimes I want it to be over/
People work so hard to take away ya shine, the world is so unkind/
So I dig in the back of my mind searchin’ through happier times/
To leave the pain behind, find the key to a better tomorrow/
overcome my sorrow, find peace even if its only temporally borrowed/
Verse 2:
I fiene to be unseen, whatever the means/
I can’t meat my pain, I don’t what its presence means/
I just lust flee the earth’s crust/
Become a speck of dust/
Life was coming near, inching ever so close/
It was present everywhere, I was engrossed/
By the truths I couldn’t digest, indigestion caused by fear/
Since situation where gettin’ dyer here, I had a mental diarrhea/
Allowing my mind defecate my ability to be aware/
If I suffered because I felt something’s presence in the air/
I could go beyond leaving my five sense being impaired/
A final desperate move ,I fall into self-induced coma/
an state of unconscious takes ova/
bridge
…
..…I‘m finally free…..
…a happy place for me..
………to flee……..
….from life’s hunt…
….hide from emotions I can never confront....
……deactivate………
……..All that agitates…….
…at night, keeps me awake…..
……….I‘m so glad to finally be safe……
……..
..
I unscrew my eyelids to a dream-state cocoon/
Staring at a glaring half crescent moon/
But something was alert to my presence, it had a memorizing stare/
from nostalgia's face, its gestures causing my attention to divide/
a milky color covers my eyes, a dream began to slowly arise/
As I careened into the extremes of my brain's storage room/
cobwebs all over it like ancient tombs yet fruitful like a mother's womb/
a pregnancy conceived through destiny, a discovery of a forgotten eulogy/
I finally stumbled over the cassettes and VHS tapes of who I used to be/
Hook
Verse 3
A cinematic sequence activate in my synaptic VCR/
I was in awe, as my wounded spirit began to slowly unscar/
Draining my lungs of cigarette tar, ironing out my growing wrinkles/
My soul unwrinkled, my youth unwrinkled, removing every single/
Strain I had sustain, once again in a adolescent mind frame/
Placed into an all too familiar scene, young cat once again untamed/
At a 1970 club, heaven purring in my ear as jazz splash in the atmosphere/
But I knew something horrible was about to happen here/
Fearing the unknown, but eased by The irresistible pheromone of a silky
saxophone/
the soothing moan of a singing baritone, but it had such a dark undertone/
THEN IT HAPPEN!!!!! A CAT USED HIS FIST TO SEVER MY NOSEBONE!!!!/
As Blood flow began to grow, My Anger takes a life of its own/
I struggled against it but couldn’t overcome it alone/
I took a empty Heineken, gripped it with deadly intent/
Smashed it over his head, fighting to stop my further decent/
My own soul I began to resent, but I couldn’t relent/
Unable to stop and desist, Using a volley of fist to make bruising indent/
Fury kept me entrapped, Until his chest no longer raise and collapse/
People taken aback, fearing a man who could send another into death’s
icy clasp/
Anger’s intoxicating odor still masking my composure/
Only Life’s presence stopping my inner demon from taking over/
Hook (1x)
Verse 4:
My serenity shredded into glass shards sticking in me/
Harrowing misery following me as move through my history/
My frame minimized, years of puberty removed from my inside/
curse words foreign to my mouth, playing on the jungle gym at the
orphanage/
Until my caretaker tells free me from this cage/
I mean….take me out for a few hours, I was a tad annoyed/
Until saw it was my father, instantly overjoyed/
Hugged him tight to feel what the warmth of true love is/
Two blue escorts removed the rusty bracelets from his wrist/
We left and went to visit a green ocean of tombstones/
My eyes roam, my pop’s commanding voice was reduced to wobbly moan/
Struggling to talk but all his statements drift off, resolution cave in/
As I saw a familiar name chiseled into it one of ’em, my mother’s maiden/
Rage appears again as my father begins/
To explain how he had stumbled home drunk one night/
And mother had gotten into it again over it/
Her words like lead projectiles to his spirit/
He couldn’t stand hear it, so he used excessive violence/
Until the shrieks of his own faults would come to silence/
For good, choking tears the best that he would/
To say take back his bad decision if he could/
My mind wondering how I could idolize a person so horrid/
I looked in my past for another place to forage/
For inner peace laying dormant, but my hurt only grew more intense/
Despairing Winces, trying to make up lies that would convince/
Me that I could still escape from life’s horrors/
But I was forced to face it like patients life-scarring disorders/
I looked into my father’s eyes, only to see it was life in the flesh/
Tried best to run, but my only escape route was death/
But life held me in its caress, explaining how our identity/
Is found through exploring one’s disgraceful tendency/
Harrowing memories, so we can strive for perfection/
Not become our own enemy by fleeing for protection/
Cuz those Always Leaving end up receiving fleeting feelin’/
that rupture the sealing of ya mental ceilin’/
ya happiness always receding, because inner demons/
Leavin’ a corroded outside, as they eat away at you from inside/
It’s ironic, the very things you struggle to hide/
Is what makes you think freedom found when you die/
Bridge II:
….I embrace life….
….never wantin to let go.…
……surrounded by light…..
..…As we begin to glow……
….my nostalgia ends….
…No longer playing pretend….
….Cuz it saps the will….
….To live outta ya….
…. We merging into one…..
….Looking forward to what….
…..I Could Become….
Fades…..
http://www.bbc.co.uk/cambridgeshire/content/images/2004/11/30/ghost_203_203x152.jpg
Verse 1
I’m on the run, barely able to gasp/
Inches away from life’s grasp/
It’s leash disregarded, it’s muzzle tarnished/
with ungrateful thoughts I regard it/
But my mind was never guarded/
From harm it inflict on those who turn a blind eye on it/
Disrespectful comments you cast on it/
Ironic, how I thought I had it by reigns/
Until I’m fleeing from, with it slowly on the gain/
I used to entertain a life of mediocrity/
And mockery I chose as my sole property/
When I ignore school, challenge my parent’s rule/
Treat others cruel, think I’d never meet life’s ghouls/
Because I would get wonderful adulthood I didn’t deserve/
Coming to wake every morning, curse my past hateful words/
But at the sometime think it absurd that I should live in shambles/
Lies I’d force myself to ramble, truths too difficult to handle/
Until I was finally backed into a corner, confront with my former/
Ugliness, not wantin to confess, I was too ashamed to regret/
So I jet, bystanders wonder what could make me so upset/
Fleeing from thin air, but I could feel it was everywhere/
Strangled by my own despair, I retreated into my own nightmares/
Hook
Lately, the life ill’s have me pinned in a corner/
Eating away at me slowly, petrifying me with its horror/
Constant chaos and disorder, sometimes I want it to be over/
People work so hard to take away ya shine, the world is so unkind/
So I dig in the back of my mind searchin’ through happier times/
To leave the pain behind, find the key to a better tomorrow/
overcome my sorrow, find peace even if its only temporally borrowed/
Verse 2:
I fiene to be unseen, whatever the means/
I can’t meat my pain, I don’t what its presence means/
I just lust flee the earth’s crust/
Become a speck of dust/
Life was coming near, inching ever so close/
It was present everywhere, I was engrossed/
By the truths I couldn’t digest, indigestion caused by fear/
Since situation where gettin’ dyer here, I had a mental diarrhea/
Allowing my mind defecate my ability to be aware/
If I suffered because I felt something’s presence in the air/
I could go beyond leaving my five sense being impaired/
A final desperate move ,I fall into self-induced coma/
an state of unconscious takes ova/
bridge
…
..…I‘m finally free…..
…a happy place for me..
………to flee……..
….from life’s hunt…
….hide from emotions I can never confront....
……deactivate………
……..All that agitates…….
…at night, keeps me awake…..
……….I‘m so glad to finally be safe……
……..
..
I unscrew my eyelids to a dream-state cocoon/
Staring at a glaring half crescent moon/
But something was alert to my presence, it had a memorizing stare/
from nostalgia's face, its gestures causing my attention to divide/
a milky color covers my eyes, a dream began to slowly arise/
As I careened into the extremes of my brain's storage room/
cobwebs all over it like ancient tombs yet fruitful like a mother's womb/
a pregnancy conceived through destiny, a discovery of a forgotten eulogy/
I finally stumbled over the cassettes and VHS tapes of who I used to be/
Hook
Verse 3
A cinematic sequence activate in my synaptic VCR/
I was in awe, as my wounded spirit began to slowly unscar/
Draining my lungs of cigarette tar, ironing out my growing wrinkles/
My soul unwrinkled, my youth unwrinkled, removing every single/
Strain I had sustain, once again in a adolescent mind frame/
Placed into an all too familiar scene, young cat once again untamed/
At a 1970 club, heaven purring in my ear as jazz splash in the atmosphere/
But I knew something horrible was about to happen here/
Fearing the unknown, but eased by The irresistible pheromone of a silky
saxophone/
the soothing moan of a singing baritone, but it had such a dark undertone/
THEN IT HAPPEN!!!!! A CAT USED HIS FIST TO SEVER MY NOSEBONE!!!!/
As Blood flow began to grow, My Anger takes a life of its own/
I struggled against it but couldn’t overcome it alone/
I took a empty Heineken, gripped it with deadly intent/
Smashed it over his head, fighting to stop my further decent/
My own soul I began to resent, but I couldn’t relent/
Unable to stop and desist, Using a volley of fist to make bruising indent/
Fury kept me entrapped, Until his chest no longer raise and collapse/
People taken aback, fearing a man who could send another into death’s
icy clasp/
Anger’s intoxicating odor still masking my composure/
Only Life’s presence stopping my inner demon from taking over/
Hook (1x)
Verse 4:
My serenity shredded into glass shards sticking in me/
Harrowing misery following me as move through my history/
My frame minimized, years of puberty removed from my inside/
curse words foreign to my mouth, playing on the jungle gym at the
orphanage/
Until my caretaker tells free me from this cage/
I mean….take me out for a few hours, I was a tad annoyed/
Until saw it was my father, instantly overjoyed/
Hugged him tight to feel what the warmth of true love is/
Two blue escorts removed the rusty bracelets from his wrist/
We left and went to visit a green ocean of tombstones/
My eyes roam, my pop’s commanding voice was reduced to wobbly moan/
Struggling to talk but all his statements drift off, resolution cave in/
As I saw a familiar name chiseled into it one of ’em, my mother’s maiden/
Rage appears again as my father begins/
To explain how he had stumbled home drunk one night/
And mother had gotten into it again over it/
Her words like lead projectiles to his spirit/
He couldn’t stand hear it, so he used excessive violence/
Until the shrieks of his own faults would come to silence/
For good, choking tears the best that he would/
To say take back his bad decision if he could/
My mind wondering how I could idolize a person so horrid/
I looked in my past for another place to forage/
For inner peace laying dormant, but my hurt only grew more intense/
Despairing Winces, trying to make up lies that would convince/
Me that I could still escape from life’s horrors/
But I was forced to face it like patients life-scarring disorders/
I looked into my father’s eyes, only to see it was life in the flesh/
Tried best to run, but my only escape route was death/
But life held me in its caress, explaining how our identity/
Is found through exploring one’s disgraceful tendency/
Harrowing memories, so we can strive for perfection/
Not become our own enemy by fleeing for protection/
Cuz those Always Leaving end up receiving fleeting feelin’/
that rupture the sealing of ya mental ceilin’/
ya happiness always receding, because inner demons/
Leavin’ a corroded outside, as they eat away at you from inside/
It’s ironic, the very things you struggle to hide/
Is what makes you think freedom found when you die/
Bridge II:
….I embrace life….
….never wantin to let go.…
……surrounded by light…..
..…As we begin to glow……
….my nostalgia ends….
…No longer playing pretend….
….Cuz it saps the will….
….To live outta ya….
…. We merging into one…..
….Looking forward to what….
…..I Could Become….
Fades…..