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BreakCanon
07-09-07, 02:15 PM
Breaking bread with the canon goes as well as planned,
Play your hand amongst brethren with a two faced teething grin,
Spin the disk in revolutions speaking to the masses,
While wearing projection masks designed for the task,
My lines speak in a language composed of an experience experiment,
The words come rushing out in a breakneck delirium,
A spear point jabbing phalanx acting in perfect unison,
In the meantime you and your crew are left standing in confusion,
The speed at which my hands wring out the ideas from my soul,
Go quicker than the smoke being sucked out your little bowl.

Amalgamated phantoms and influences sired,
Through the dream and will to succeed against all other desires,
This burning itch within me is a fire with which to reckon,
Until it is extinguished, and my pen is relinquished,
I will appease my decadence.

Leash the dogma of hip-hop, think of where it can be,
In relation to where it is, and than you will finally see,
The racist dreams and racist schemes have nothing to do with ability,
It just means that those who benefit are the least deserving of society,
Where is the honor of bragging rights about how many hoes you’ve pimped,
How many innocents you’ve gunned down, how many junkies you’ve stripped?
Hip-hop can be so much more than just ego, id and crap,
The universe is balanced, we just need to find a source to tap.

Dreams of bringing honor back to the canon long dead,
Stretch your neck if you’re upset, and give the hangman your head,
Be a martyr if you must, you serve a higher cause,
Your death will be met with great success and God’s willful applause,
Apply the gauze to the open wound festering abominable,
The gangrene looks shady, the edifice is rotten to the core,
Foundations looking shaky, from the top down to the floor,
The building is collapsing under the weight of generic,
And the fires of stoking fandom pander to the pandemic.

BreakCanon
07-11-07, 01:02 AM
C'mon folks, 25 views, and nothing? Surely this should elicit a response, either hatful or otherwise.

Ecliptik
07-11-07, 02:28 AM
haven't seen a hip hop type peice in a long time....really not a big fan on spits likes this...even though they have actually meanin and intelectual depth.....lol.....it was just "eh" to me.....thats why i hate spits like this...theres is nothing anyone can really do to make **** like this sound witty or somewhat different....atleast wit battle and guns and sex....theres other things you can say....lol

the highest i can honestly give is a 5/10 due to my lyrical/ creative taste...

BreakCanon
07-11-07, 05:09 PM
Fair 'nuff. Flowise, how was it?

W.I.Z.E.
07-13-07, 12:09 PM
My lines speak in a language composed of an experience experiment,
The words come rushing out in a breakneck delirium,
A spear point jabbing phalanx acting in perfect unison,
In the meantime you and your crew are left standing in confusion,

Where is the honor of bragging rights about how many hoes you’ve pimped,
How many innocents you’ve gunned down, how many junkies you’ve stripped?
Hip-hop can be so much more than just ego, id and crap,


Well I´ll be damned. Nice piece here and a surprise to be honest. First few lines started a lil slow and I didn´t know where you were going. Then this picked up a lot.

Favorite part of this piece was the diction you used to convey your point. You touched on different subjects but it didn´t feel out of place. Nice second part really felt that. Imagery was on point.

Would like to see more from you kid...

tash8
07-13-07, 12:46 PM
you have a good vocab which real important, the flow is a lil shakey, rhymes are decent sometimes your gonna have to use an accent to actually rhyme them which is always fine but it's harder for us to feed it

keep at it.

BreakCanon
07-13-07, 06:21 PM
W.I.Z.E., thanks for the praise. More will come with time.

tash, I know the flow is a little shaky at times. That's why I prefer to incorporate rhyme in the center of my lines. Thanks for the criticism. Just began stretching my hip hop wings.

tash8
07-13-07, 06:36 PM
^ haha yea :) keep at it man, probably one of the best i've seen here