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Wordsmyth
06-08-07, 11:08 AM
On the first part of the trip my vision started to flip
Thought I had a hold on reality but it started to slip
A calm and motionless sky where all the oceans were dry
I could hear cause for emotion but couldn’t open my eyes
Hopelessly floating as my mind resists imploding itself
This can’t persist; I’m just remised and only eroding myself
The air was cool and clean, the blazing of the sun was hot
But amidst this foolish dream I knew this fun must stop
The next day as time evaded and returned to its balance
I find it hard to concentrate and plus my nerves were all calloused
Kind of perturbed and malice started to think how life had merged
Things observed caused concern but couldn’t fight that urge
Couldn’t rewrite the words twisted my thoughts were inconsistent
Alone in a crowded room where everyone’s conveniently distant
Everyone immediately pissed at my choices with nice voices
They try to show me the road less traveled by white horses

See I've been through the desert on a horse with no name
It felt good to be out of the rain
In the desert….. you can’t remember your name
'Cause there ain't no one out to give you no pain
La, la ...la,la,la,la

Three days later on a journey northwest of more stress
Caught a glimpse of this native with intense looks like war vets
Visibly vexed by the troubles of his numerous ventures
He seemed as cold as dark nights of the gloomiest winters
As I approached and engaged in some intellectual exchange
I noticed time had ravaged his skin and his souls complexion had aged
He told me tales of his struggles and also the loss of his wife
Too many trips through the desert almost cost him his life
Warning signs produced a message that I’ve traveled to long
I saw children amidst the gravel all of them singing this song

See I've been through the desert on a horse with no name
It felt good to be out of the rain
In the desert….. you can’t remember your name
'Cause there ain't no one out to give you no pain
La, la ... la,la,la,la

Throughout numerous journey’s consumed by all the sights exposed
It seems the travels had taken its toll and brought my life to a close
Only a slight overdose but still all of the visions were clear
And if you listen off in the distance with precision you’ll hear

See I've been through the desert on a horse with no name
It felt good to be out of the rain
In the desert….. you can’t remember your name
'Cause there ain't no one out to give you no pain
La, la ... la,la,la,la

m 0 s e s
06-08-07, 10:47 PM
nice concept .. good flow .. 8/10

Wordsmyth
06-11-07, 09:44 AM
Thx

theman080
06-12-07, 12:33 PM
dope drop wordsmyth, been a while since I seen you post in this *****

Cali_Bud
06-12-07, 12:35 PM
Damn I can't believe I slept on this!!! Hot drop the hook was crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!! You ripped this sh!t

Wordsmyth
06-12-07, 12:37 PM
Yup, did some uncharacteristic **** here... But for all intense and purposes I'll prolly be more active again. We'll see....

Avalon Artorius
06-12-07, 12:57 PM
On the first part of the trip my vision started to flip
Thought I had a hold on reality but it started to slip
A calm and motionless sky where all the oceans were dry
I could hear cause for emotion but couldn’t open my eyes
- sick flow..

Hopelessly floating as my mind resists imploding itself
This can’t persist; I’m just remised and only eroding myself
^^ You guys see these bars? these bars simply mean, he didnt just put words together so they rhymed..this **** flowed, and actually made sense...its a piggy bank..it made cents..lol

Things observed caused concern but couldn’t fight that urge - nice rhyme scheme

Visibly vexed by the troubles of his numerous ventures
He seemed as cold as dark nights of the gloomiest winters
^^ these bars are an example of how u flowed throughout the whole piece...was a bit monotonous(s/p).switch up the flow...the concept was dope, but got a bit boring after a while...i like the change up though...it shows ur versatility....