grey

[Trojanman]

putting in that work
because i'm behind the others
others as in most people my age, before or after me
was studying for that permit
blew my opportunity away
@ heading to that road called growing up
i feel like a man who lost his shot @ 100 billion
and has to tell the news to his wife and 12 children
they all @ home excited talking about what they gonna do
not realizing their daddy's on his knees
crying holding that pain on his shoulders
the pain of failure
the pain of depression
sometimes i wanna cry
just run into a dark closed space and cry
my tears go beyond what i do and don't do
they play back movies of grief and pain
rejection, anger, fear, loneliness
anxiety, disillusionment and sadness
i walk around with open wounds
that soak up my clothes
where people look @ me like i'm crazy
even if i got what i wanted
a dude still would be f*cked up
except with bandaids on him
the pain would still be there
i will still be winching my eyes
when the water builds up in em
ready to flush
i still will be angry
i'ma be the same