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W.I.Z.E.
01-26-07, 01:47 PM
This is slightly old but some recent revisions (like just now).

Unfaithful

**Next Girl by Gangstarr**

When I was seven I used to play find and hump in the closet,
It was like heaven, before I even knew what pumpin inside was,
Girls be like “ILL”, “fluck you thought this was love and some fondness,
I mean girl honest, scoffing nonsense just aint stoppin’ my progress,”
Even through college comments accosted “can’t you be faithful instead?”
I was astonished but confident, “can YOU give me head?”
Man I’ve promised knowledge and age would stop my **** from it’s wondering,
When I got caught cheatin my girl was pissed responding,
But she acknowledged, “you’re just a man”, I had her heart as a hostage,
I had her twisted like Ramen, souped suckin’ my **** like a losange,
So let me understand this process, I can cheat be forgiven,
Blame selfish addictions, on my helpless gender affliction,
Monogamy becomes the wishes of conflicted dumb b!thces,
How could I pay for my mistakes if you still f$#ckin’ me cents less,
Wrongs never witnessed, when wickedness wreaks never resisted,
I only imitate the lack of care you share w/ your image,
Only to illustrate your hate I blame YOU for not being faithful,
How could I love you, when what you doing shows me you truly hate you?


Hook


**scratches**
“You can love me or hate me”

How could I ever be true if you don’t really love you.

**scratches**

“U know my style I’ll say anything to make you smile…”


And that’s real, so why not play the game –
U going insane, throwing my name through your mentals in vein,
I aint your heart, although you droppin’ those bombs settin’ those mines,
So when I nut I can’t believe the way you blowin’ my mind,
Knowing no one can find, the right way u control from behind,
Although your girl, **sigh**, she’s the second hoe on the line,
OH whoah hold up recline, U know my past u think I’m a change,
For a chicken deranged, that let me f@ck her best friend Lorraine….
Respect you? Well here’s a test boo,
How many times have you looked in the mirror and TRULY thought you was special.
Your image invites the guest who inhabit hades,
Half of the men you boned you can even figure it out,
Of why you let them get a piece of your soul so just maybe,
You should figure who you are before you b!tch and you pout.
About how I did you wrong, man you gave me that lane,
And I sped right through, so you too are the blame.

Hook


**scratches**
“You can love me or hate me”

How could I ever be true if you don’t really love you.

**scratches**

“U know my style I’ll say anything to make you smile…”


Baby just maybe, your dating contained in hating,
Your self, cuz no debating your heinous actions are scathing,
And lately, waiting and pacing I’ve seen right for the taking,
Your presence and soul is vacant and trust me there’s no replacement.
So love me, hate me, it’s whatever girl I’m honest,
But I hope you love yourself…please make me that promise.

**beat fades out**

#1rapper
01-26-07, 05:55 PM
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This drop right here was off the charts, had some standout parts

"How could I pay for my mistakes if you still f$#ckin’ me cents less"
Good wordplay in the midst of good content and a tight flow

examples of flow

"So let me understand this process, I can cheat be forgiven,
Blame selfish addictions, on my helpless gender affliction,"
not only does this sound tight right here,as i said before about your other piece this part right here would honestly be one of those parts of the song that ppl get stuck in their head and say over and over if it was done over a beat

i liked the first part the best, but it never declined enuff for me to think this shouldnt get a five diamond rating

theman080
01-28-07, 03:59 PM
Respect you? Well here’s a test boo,
How many times have you looked in the mirror and TRULY thought you was special.


^^^Damn WIZE, that shyts rough yo,

I liked this peice, you kept the flow quality throughout and this was seriously a fukked up excuse for cheatin. That whole "you let me get away with it, then shiiiiiiiit, you really aint shyt." tip was fukked up. You kept the content consistent and didnt over burden it byu trying to get ya point across, just came through easily throughout the text. Good shyt tho...still was fukked up tho, lol, that ish could really hurt feelings...I was really feelin the topic, so when flow and content were top knotch is equals good shyt...

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IvIdividual
01-29-07, 11:57 AM
Yep. This is what I'm talking about right here.

The kats above me quoted some dope isht. I felt this part right here too.

"I only imitate the lack of care you share w/ your image,
Only to illustrate your hate I blame YOU for not being faithful,
How could I love you, when what you doing shows me you truly hate you?"

Whaaaat??!? nice.

I thought you really did a good job at sticking with your rhyme scheme and having some solid things to say at the same time. The balance was on point.

Primo held his own too.

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IvI

Salah
01-29-07, 12:55 PM
Love love... I like the first verse damn.... as*hole piece I see. The first verse really hit.