DOMINION- Introduction(In$ane)

[In$ane $hane]

Well Im Pretty Sure all you dudes out there is familiar witt In$ane $hane.
Well wat makes dis man click is da fact dat he makes da alteration of his style from In$ane to $hane & vice versa…if you dnt understand wat im talking bout you will…instead of mixing it imma separate these styles for this DOMINION…you will get real familiar ….LETS GO!!!

In$ane
* acapella*
If you kno me, you ma dough is wat im mainly about/
So fuccz witt ma “S” with da line, imma have to put da tec or da nine up in ya mouth/

Cuz time is money & money is power/
Fucc witt ma power & then the bullets’ll shower/
Dropping in all directions 4 like half of a hour/ now in front of ya building candles & flowers/
I spit so raw, got ni99az asking ma age/ eyez on ma page/ cuz im moving like its back in da dayz/ when ni99az was licking shots like they had they mouths on they gauge/…multiple sprays/ cant let em juss have 1,we got bullets like lays/:laugh:

“La8ly a lot of ni99az acting like I aint da type 2 put 2 put 2 in dey dome/
In$ane conceited witt his gunz, I be sporting da chrome/
Trigga finga itching, feinin 4 a ni99a 2 come up in2 ma zone/
So I can escort a football team ov ni99az up in2 his home/”
I keep in 100 in ma rhymes cuz deez ni99az be spitting a mess/
Trynna be 50 I guess?/ cuz I neva seen ni99az in da hood kicking bars but got on a vest/
But they say it in their rhymes….How they copping da ses/ rockin da vest/ witt a AK, 2glocks & some rounds 4 dey tec/
WEN REALLY…they lookin frail in da chest/ & giving theyre check/…2 dey moms cuz she need da rest 4 da rent/

In$ane: I figure id juss keystyle ma Whole DOMINION posts…test ma self, you kno…everything from now on is gonna be keystyled (DEAD ASS!)
$hane: & b4 yall get on me 4 da ignorance of dis post, lol…remember im testing ma shyt…iight

1

[theman080]

Iight, this seems like the usual drops I've seen from you, and you have improved since your first drop. Your flow has elevated and your incorporation of multis have improved. With that said, it doesn't seem like you tested yourself too much with this drop. I'm more interested in seeing how you handle a verse on a weird type of topic, see the Insane Shane approach to that kinda shyt. This just seems like a spinoff of your other shyt to me, you could really take advantage of this Dominion shyt if the feedback stays consistent cuz there's some heads in here that can offer better advice then me...

Basically, I would step further out on a limb with your next few drops and experiment a bit. Make your flow a little more complex maybe or deal with a rough topic. This drop was decent regarding flow, since that can be tough to judge (at least for me) over an acapella. The topic and wording was wear it lacked...



<> <>

[In$ane $hane]

yea fam but listen...dis is ma regular shyt...da whole In$ane flow...
den imma hit u witt da $hane approach 2 shyt, so then yall could compare
youll understand soon enuff...jus look out 4 da $hane version

[Sleeps Thoreau]

now in front of ya building candles & flowers/
----this is real!


Icuz im moving like its back in da dayz/ when ni99az was licking shots like they had they mouths on they gauge/…multiple sprays/ cant let em juss have 1,we got bullets like lays/
----here i was following as it built up, but the last line was weak! u gotta spend more diligent time on sh1t like this.. dont just take flow for granted. Cause u had a chance to lay down an awsome metaphore to compliment the first couple of bars, and u let it go..





So as i said with my first critique (which was WIZE.. thas gonna set the standard for how sh1t gets judged)
accordingly
this will get a <> <
mainly cause your flow
its no hard feelings daddy
i think u gonna come better
but dont give us keystylez
cause thats just basically telling me u dont care
the sh1t u see from me before this dominion: mostly keystlez
and if u dont believe it, gimme ur AIM name and i'll let u see as i do it

that aint nothing!
what is something tho is creativity
this was a battle rhyme and it was a contrived gangsta rap battle rhyme
that sh1t is dead right now
unless u on some cosmic, comparing your gat to some brilliant sh1t it aint really worth nothing
cause the shock value has been gone from gangsta sh1t for a decade and a half already for tru school heads

that being said your flow is not bad
and the lines i highlighted above were worthy of mention

[In$ane $hane]

iight yo im feelin watchu trynna say,but like i sed b4 imma flip da whole gangsta shyt wen i make da $hane version. on dat split personalities shyt,to show how i can be both kind of rappers.

[W.I.Z.E.]

the ONLY thing I liked about this drop was the flow. I undestand you were going for that "gangsta isht" but listen to G. Rap. Even when he's kickin' some gangsta story and it's fairly simplistic topic wise. his lyrics...let alone his flow make it BANANAS. This is something that you did not do.

Your subject matter was tired and very predictable. Like I said the flow was nice but oeverall you have to flip it better.

Cuz time is money & money is power/
Fucc witt ma power & then the bullets’ll shower/
Dropping in all directions 4 like half of a hour

Let's say..that you even incorporated wordplay. And said your "reign" (rain) is about money and power. Then went on to the next part about a shower. Then cat's get "wet" for a half and hour. A "blood Bath", not your building got candles and flowers.

That may NOT be your style...but an example of how you could make this same exact concept more complex and engaging to the reader/listener.


<>.

[IvIdividual]

Man...not really much to say on this one $hane. Typical battle verse with some weak punches. If I am not mistaken this is one of your first DOMINION drops...so I can understand the whole build up to the switch up.

You did have a couple of hot one's though

"Dropping in all directions 4 like half of a hour/ now in front of ya building candles & flowers/"

ok...well...you had one hot one. And for the 1 hot one you get

1 <>



IvI

[Midnite]

this is a battle/braggadocios flow, and I can't hate on that, cause when done right, it can be some the most entertaining raps...

but those kinds of raps are heavy in creative punchlines, they ooze swagger, and they get the audience energized because the rapper himself is energized

you got the swagger, you got the energy, but you're missing the creative punchlines

Cuz time is money & money is power/
Fucc witt ma power & then the bullets’ll shower/
Dropping in all directions 4 like half of a hour

I agree with Wize, if ya played around with it, you could convey the same thing but with a much more creative word usage...still, I've seen ya post much better stuff, most notably in the collab you did...so I'm judging you based on that as well

<><

[Invisible Vision]

Shane man, this is what i was talking about when we got down with the collab, I was trying to explain to you that if you're really trying to do this, you gotta be serious about what you put out there....

Just like when there were some mistakes in transfering our work to the website, and you decided you were gonna go in and out with my verse... you shouldn't just be deciding what you're gonna write as you're typing... you need to be thinking about it a little bit, take some time, this is a craft, it needs to be worked with, poured over, smoothed out a little, feel me....?

This wasn't a great effort.... i see that you were doing the whole "insane" thing, but still, it comes off sloppy and a little played out.

you gotta get your content up, or get your style up a little, luckily that's exactly what you're supposed to be doing with the dominion work.

if you're gonna throw some money/drugs/guns work down in the 'insane' voice... then maybe check dudes that do similar work... check for clipse, old mobb deep, and see how they get down with it in a interesting manner...

< stay working at it though, don't get downed by the criticism, you've definitely come better than this, so the rating isn't based on YOU its just based on this drop....

keep working
stay up
~IV