Dominon: Milton Boreaux's Sophistication on 16th Street

[IvIdividual]

Had enough of the slick talk So I greased the easel
Streached it out so i could free feel the real you.
set the needle on texture magnified the lecture
And then
I sex'd strokes of each brissle across aged stretched skin
And when
The song begins to bend an eerie hyme turning into HIM.
I barrow'd a pen appriciated with a sheapish grin
I type
the feel of dusty papirus unfinished grazed threw thumb and index.
I write
the film covering the freshly hot brewed lipton...ingest
Milton Boreaux's zorro with the ink fencing for the next plateau over
stainless brass colapsable pointer to the left with the lexicon...sober
A certain sophistication while words foundate relations
Thats wordplay to you youngtsters...I was born way before 88
like the creases in your great grandmothers drapes
I flow antique polished...you can tell i have good taste
My litaruture's an up north Virginia vinyard laced grape
Its not multi's and silly's, its the substance of the crepe
Retired the gadgets and left myths of sillouetted capes


IvI

[Sleeps Thoreau]

Had enough of the slick talk So I greased the easel
Streached it out so i could free feel the real you.
set the needle on texture magnified the lecture
And then
I sex'd strokes of each brissle across aged stretched skin
And when
The song begins to bend an eerie hyme turning into HIM.
I barrow'd a pen appriciated with a sheapish grin
----nice! documenting your transition into a more textured writer. and you are basking in the glory of it


I type
the feel of dusty papirus unfinished grazed threw thumb and index.
I write
the film covering the freshly hot brewed lipton...ingest
-----imagery is great but kind of cliche coffe shop shhit


A certain sophistication while words foundate relations
Thats wordplay to you youngtsters...I was born way before 88
like the creases in your great grandmothers drapes
----lol at i was born.. like the... grandmothers drapes


I flow antique polished...you can tell i have good taste
My litaruture's an up north Virginia vinyard laced grape
Its not multi's and silly's, its the substance of the crepe
Retired the gadgets and left myths of sillouetted capes
----the imagery is exhubernt and elliquent

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I will give this
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The language was great and it wasnt just big words to flower up the piece.. the words were necessary with the connotations and in conveying your devices; which were wonderfully skilled analogies!

the piece did round itself out.. it started with you making a declairation and ending with that declairation
but i cannot give u five because like snomans piece it was kind of off balance in the grandiocity (again.. not sure thats a word)
the whole body between the first and last stanza was
I
and
I
and
I.
tell me what it feels like, the pains and the freedom and all of the sensations of that growth

dont just tell me how sophisticated you think u are
some of the most recognizable pieces of literature are in fact simple

[theman080]

I can fukk with this alot. the wording was was almost perfect for the most part and brought out what you were trying to get across. The whole vibe came across well, came off to me as an expert letting his overall knowledge of the craft be known and some shyt. Anyway, I cant give it a perfect score because I think you have some better shyt in store with more of your mechanics showcased rather then just mentioned. Anyway, this was really good, from wording to the flow...



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[Midnite]

Had enough of the slick talk So I greased the easel
Streached it out so i could free feel the real you.
set the needle on texture magnified the lecture
And then
I sex'd strokes of each brissle across aged stretched skin
And when
The song begins to bend an eerie hyme turning into HIM.
I barrow'd a pen appriciated with a sheapish grin
I type
the feel of dusty papirus unfinished grazed threw thumb and index.
I write
IvI



the beginning was very ill, i liked how you came out the gate with a very well, and unorthodox flow...i liked this, it got a lil' off towards the end...greenery for the most part

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[W.I.Z.E.]

Nice work here. Flow was on point and so was the overall content. Felt like it got off to a slow start but then it picked up here for me .



Milton Boreaux's zorro with the ink fencing for the next plateau over
stainless brass colapsable pointer to the left with the lexicon...sober



The last part was straight fire kid. I really liked it and it it's a good message to cats in the game now that may focus too much on flow to sacrifice a well written/spoken piece.

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[#1rapper]

alright i can feel this shyt...you had soem good points in this bytch like

"Thats wordplay to you youngtsters...I was born way before 88
like the creases in your great grandmothers drapes
I flow antique polished...you can tell i have good taste"

ima give u an a+ when it comes to content but im disappointed with the lack of flow..like your drop was a good read but it would of been an awesome read if u had a great flow to match the great content(I'm a flow type of guy)

but even with that
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[yaga]

Had enough of the slick talk So I greased the easel
Streached it out so i could free feel the real you.
set the needle on texture magnified the lecture
And then
I sex'd strokes of each brissle across aged stretched skin
And when
The song begins to bend an eerie hyme turning into HIM.

I thought this Open Mic Forum was dead? When sh*t like this drops on the board it's evidence that a lot folks have been misconceiving things. I'm a play Flex for a second and rewind that for folks to catch, i know you'd appreciate that...

Had enough of the slick talk So I greased the easel
Streached it out so i could free feel the real you.
set the needle on texture magnified the lecture
And then
I sex'd strokes of each brissle across aged stretched skin
And when
The song begins to bend an eerie hyme turning into HIM.
I barrow'd a pen appriciated with a sheapish grin


This imagery is unmatched. The comparison of an easel and the skin is hinting at a bit of a cliche, but the way you flipped it isn't... it's valid. And those last two lines sort of zip up the quoted section so sick, man. Whoa... don't capitalize, though... i personally feel like it takes away from the potency of wordplay. But that's minor, sh*t is major.



...the ink fencing for the next plateau over / stainless brass colapsable pointer to the left with the lexicon... sober



:ohmy:

Damn, iki. Ingesting this is really f*cking refreshing, duke. LOL, sounds corny but for real. I think the best part of this whole piece, the thing that really solidifies this entire thing is the fact that you could spit this sh*t raw. I know a lot of folks haven't heard your sh*t on the mic, so when i drop the five stars on this it should be incentive for them to bug you about it.

Always fresh,

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[Advent Verbal Kent]

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