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View Full Version : To Cry At Life And Celebrate Death w/ Yaga & W.I.Z.E


theman080
01-16-07, 12:15 PM
(080)
(W.I.Z.E)
(Yaga)


Abortion was a give-in, couldn't scrape up the funds
Mother ashamed that her son wasnt contained when he sprung
He couldn't track humility, or a justified ability
To get em a job, began his suicide soliloquy
Did time in fine facilities, correctional purposes
She never let em see his kid, she could attest to his worthlessness
No jest this is permenent, till deaths sets with illustrious ease
Lives is chemical warfare, one birth caused the destruction of three...
Solemn scenes swallows dreams in a funeral parlor
Unusual ardor goes further with ya jewlery garnered
Harnessed to give a proper departure to the fool thats been martyered
Death resets ya intellect to depths the best would interject
Unrest, depressed, whataver hex or unpromising task
Dyin erases that, so hows it a compromise you could pass?
Or even second guess before accepting, its your time for the dance
A simple two-step, neglect the fools jest, stuck in a daze
Ya friends will make amends, and offer nothin but praise
Mutter a phrase, tip a few back as a eulogie comes from the stage
Relatives gleamin on your acheivements whan you were young in ya days
Your mistakes to be omitted, now your gone its all forgiven


She died and I celebrated…
Emancipated with thoughts of her pain lifted and departed,
It started five months ago degenerate target,
We parted our relationship it blemished her heart quick.
Physician stated his mission to lessen the pain,
Clogged arteries that started me stressing in vein,
It was the part of me that honestly I couldn’t sustain,
The sense of robbery it bothered me I couldn’t refrain,
Looked up to God to see, if possibly she would remain,
It seemed so odd to me, but logically she couldn’t maintain.
It boggled their brains this condition meant for the aging,
Was accelerating, this teen age angel was fading.
Her heart stiffened, blood thickened often fatigued,
It cramped when she reached for water she couldn’t breathe,
Her brain had signals that it couldn’t receive,
So she couldn’t even recognize the loved ones she’d leave.
But she never cried, never even loss her belief,
As she fell in a coma others grieved but somehow it seemed,
That she would lead…the doctors said her chances were slim,
To gain consciousness, surprisingly days later did,
She said:
Why are you crying? cuz I’m dying? look at your life,
You’re blessed, encasing light to lead millions from plight,
When I was born everyone laughed but the pain was intense,
But when I die the pain will cease and that’s his in tent,
Humans only see a part life on earth that’s in tenths,
And this not even a tenth of what I represent hence.
Don’t cry…just be happy I’ll continue my journey,
Fulfill your dreams, live to the fullest and one day you join me.



Cornered, i bled for the coroner until i wrote from the ash... then of an aura i normally spoke & awoke to your gasps. Now the game is afoot; illusions amassed, pupils as cursors & disillusions to draft. / Though maybe a stance haught, i'll understand the naught when shadows shatter & the Castor raptures the wrought; in whole passions caught. // Entangled in sought characters i'll dabble in, a sort of dimentia-for-mannequin's jaunt, i hunker down for images & discus the thought where ever it is, if only happenstance fought. / And upon that Kingdom Come, thy will be done upon arrival, ink revival every second it's there...

Sleeps Thoreau
01-16-07, 01:05 PM
Solemn scenes swallows dreams in a funeral parlor
----i like the poetic simplicity yet depth of this sentence.. no big words but it moves and has emotional sense

Unrest, depressed, whataver hex or unpromising task
Dyin erases that, so hows it a compromise you could pass?
Or even second guess before accepting, its your time for the dance
----nice build

A simple two-step, neglect the fools jest, stuck in a daze
Ya friends will make amends, and offer nothin but praise
Mutter a phrase, tip a few back as a eulogie comes from the stage
----picturesque


[/FONT]



Clogged arteries that started me stressing in vein,
It was the part of me that honestly I couldn’t sustain,
The sense of robbery it bothered me I couldn’t refrain,
Looked up to God to see, if possibly she would remain,
It seemed so odd to me, but logically she couldn’t maintain.
----nice build



It boggled their brains this condition meant for the aging,
Was accelerating, this teen age angel was fading.
Her heart stiffened, blood thickened often fatigued,
It cramped when she reached for water she couldn’t breathe,
Her brain had signals that it couldn’t receive,
So she couldn’t even recognize the loved ones she’d leave.
----this is so real


.

Cornered, i bled for the coroner until i wrote from the ash... then of an aura i normally spoke & awoke to your gasps. Now the game is afoot; illusions amassed, pupils as cursors & disillusions to draft. /
----fluid phrasing here and picturesque

sn0man
01-16-07, 01:21 PM
Impressive story telling ability all around you guys had great multies but WIZE seemed like he could have done a lil better if he didnt keep the same multi schemes as long as he did but it was still excellent.

the topic was good and you guys pulled it off well

IMO it was

WIZE
080
Yaga

Child Proof
01-16-07, 02:52 PM
you guys had great multies...
...but WIZE seemed like he could have done a lil better if he didnt keep the same multi schemes as long as he did


Just curious, but what do you mean by multies? And Multi scheme?

On topic, great collabo! I think W.I.Z.E's drop was my fave; 080's was nice but because of my ignorance or lack of understanding it seemed more flow than anything else (tight flow btw)...not 080's fault I missed the message and lastly Yaga was just way over my head :guilty:

sn0man
01-16-07, 02:59 PM
multisyllable rhymes

as in

I dream-all-day of cream-saute'd

or

I can sit ya heart-in-ya-lap
fvck ridin a beat Ill parralel park-on-a-track

but not

I rhyme all day
just to get pay

Child Proof
01-16-07, 03:02 PM
multisyllable rhymes
as in
I dream-all-day of cream-saute'd
or
I can sit ya heart-in-ya-lap
fvck ridin a beat Ill parralel park-on-a-track
but not
I rhyme all day
just to get pay

Oh snap, ok...good look!

IvIdividual
01-16-07, 05:05 PM
It aint all about the multi's. Not every body has a multi syl style.

080 killed his verse. flow was...perfect. Dont really want to pull his verse apart. Sh!t was bonkers.

WIZE this section was hot!
"You’re blessed, encasing light to lead millions from plight,
When I was born everyone laughed but the pain was intense,
But when I die the pain will cease and that’s his in tent,
Humans only see a part life on earth that’s in tenths,
And this not even a tenth of what I represent hence."

Yaga...I need some of that isht your smoking.

"Then of an aura i normally spoke & awoke to your gasps. Now the game is afoot; illusions amassed, pupils as cursors & disillusions to draft. / Though maybe a stance haught, i'll understand the naught when shadows shatter & the Castor raptures the wrought"

Yo...wtf was that???? Imagery was off the rictor!


All in all This peice was nice. Not sure if it reall flowed well together. I think the whole topic was felt but the substance was lacking. Skill none the less shined bright through the authors lines.

~IvI~

Child Proof
01-17-07, 08:33 AM
Ok...whoa...just re-read 080's verse...the message is potent! More so that last segment or so...

Death resets ya intellect to depths the best would interject
Unrest, depressed, whataver hex or unpromising task
Dyin erases that, so hows it a compromise you could pass?
Or even second guess before accepting, its your time for the dance
A simple two-step, neglect the fools jest, stuck in a daze
Ya friends will make amends, and offer nothin but praise
Mutter a phrase, tip a few back as a eulogie comes from the stage
Relatives gleamin on your acheivements whan you were young in ya days
Your mistakes to be omitted, now your gone its all forgiven

theman080
04-24-07, 09:47 PM
this collab was piff....

**** the raptors

Ecliptik
04-25-07, 06:11 PM
just ridiculous....great look

W.I.Z.E.
05-18-07, 04:47 PM
This was a good look.