persia
01-05-07, 01:38 AM
Understanding nothing as I walk the path of life littered with only my own half truths
If I never admit the nightmares, then they won’t be able to prove
Events of the past that I never wanted to admit were real
Hoping that if I ignored it all long enough, I could get myself to cease to feel
And end to the pain I swore was never there
Until something simple sets the memories up to flood right back, cutting off my air
And I can’t breathe again.
Knowing that my life forever changed at some point way back when
Heartbreaking that I can never remember exactly when it happened
What time, what place, who was there; when my childhood came to an end
I remember tears and blood on many occasions
Slowly building the walls I made in my mind; the walls I still live in
As I look back over the choices I’ve made since then I see how I let it change me
How I internalized the mistakes I witnessed and that sometimes, I still don’t see
That I can’t change them and I never had that power from the beginning
It’s so sad that its funny, they are what taught and molded me, what keeps me sinning
Sentenced to a life of trying to rewrite my personal history
The same situations over and over, desperately fighting to undo the memory
The strength people think I have is a feeble attempt to be more than what I am
A façade to mask the time bomb that’s ticking away here as I stand
If I never admit the nightmares, then they won’t be able to prove
Events of the past that I never wanted to admit were real
Hoping that if I ignored it all long enough, I could get myself to cease to feel
And end to the pain I swore was never there
Until something simple sets the memories up to flood right back, cutting off my air
And I can’t breathe again.
Knowing that my life forever changed at some point way back when
Heartbreaking that I can never remember exactly when it happened
What time, what place, who was there; when my childhood came to an end
I remember tears and blood on many occasions
Slowly building the walls I made in my mind; the walls I still live in
As I look back over the choices I’ve made since then I see how I let it change me
How I internalized the mistakes I witnessed and that sometimes, I still don’t see
That I can’t change them and I never had that power from the beginning
It’s so sad that its funny, they are what taught and molded me, what keeps me sinning
Sentenced to a life of trying to rewrite my personal history
The same situations over and over, desperately fighting to undo the memory
The strength people think I have is a feeble attempt to be more than what I am
A façade to mask the time bomb that’s ticking away here as I stand