dormircommeunsonneur
10-26-06, 12:55 AM
Thought I loved them all: black, white, short or tall.
Then you can into the fold and the list just couldn’t compare.
I felt inferior to your gained knowledge and experienced wisdom.
You made me feel small, and only safe when within your warm embrace.
I couldn’t see or walk straight; Everything led to you.
You filled my head, fed my hunger, and completed my soul.
I needed you; you were my drug; my remedy; the solution to this dreadful situation of loneliness.
Everything was clear.
You were the one; the only; my man.
I loved you? Or at least I thought.
We love all things new, and when it comes to that first relationship, you fall hard and pray you never hit the pavement.
Thought I’d float forever on this feeling of euphoria; with all the things you filled my head with.
But this drug you fed to me was false; a placebo. Got me thinking you were the only thing that was strong enough to cure this sickness and pain.
I became addicted; waiting by the phone, watchin my messenger, lookin for you in our usual spots.
I can’t see ahead because I can’t get past you.
Don’t think I’ll ever shake this “Deja Vu.”
When things got heavy I knew I had a decision to make; If I was to keep you.
But what was there to think about? I wouldn’t have gone this far if I wasn’t planin on it; Right?
Isn’t this what I want (what we want)?; to show you that I’m all in; half and half, 50/50, or 75/25 when you’re down and hurtin.
I thought that in being perfect, you wouldn’t have to search any further, but it wasn’t enough.
So I became desperate, and in an attempt to seal the deal, ended up making a deal with the devil; who promises nothing in return; only grants the request followed by unforeseen consequences.
Now we’re here in the dark, and even though I can’t see your face, I can feel the excitement in your touch and heavy breathing.
This is what you’ve been waiting for, and haven’t you waited long enough? Don’t you deserve to be greedy and rush?
So I let you ravage me, because this moment will either break or seal the deal, and I have everything riding on it. (If I was to keep you)
Now It’s over; before you could even count to ten.
I had so many notions; their all out the window now.
Now I lay here, nervous from the silence as you situate yourself next to me.
I don’t feel the need to say anything, what I let you do should have said it all.
But you; what do you have to say? (Please let it be what I want to hear)
Then he speaks: “Thank You”
?, What; is that all?!
Is that all you have to say?!
That’s what someone says when their offered food, given money, a ride, offered some act of kindness.
How can “Thank You” be all you have to say after what I’ve given you; what we just shared with each other.
“Thank You?!” WHAT!!!
Now you’re putting on your clothes to go.
You give me a kiss; say you’ll come by and see me tomorrow.
But all I get is a call before you catch your flight.
Said you’d keep in touch, but I’m the only one making sure we make contact.
I try to ask about how you’re doing; let you now I care about what you do, but you never return the gesture.
Always cut me short and say you’ll call. “LIAR”
Now it’s hard to catch you.
You called once……..I missed it. Your message said you were thinking about me because it had been a week.
It shouldn’t take that long to miss the one you care about. (Excuse me, “think about the one you care about”)
But I don’t stress; I’ll take what I can get; I need whatever I can hold onto right now.
But you’re making this hard.
Now I’ve been realizing that we don’t talk very often. You won’t even return my IM’s, calls, or e-mails;
What’s going on?
I’m realizing you’re ignoring me; I’m realizing that this; whatever it was we had; is over.
But how can it be if you haven’t said anything; given an end to this short story.
I’ve tried to play it off like I don’t care, but I’m only playing myself.
How can you accept the only thing I have to give once, and then give me the cold shoulder?
A man I’ve seen willing to give up his right arm for his family, can’t even let me down gently.
Now I’m sitting here crying over you; thinking it’s got to be my fault; I had to have gone wrong somewhere with my calculations because none of it adds up.
………………………………............................................................ ................................................................
It’s been a while now, and I’m starting to be ok.
I don’t stress over the virginity thing; it’s not what makes me who I am; only what makes guys (dogs) follow you around like your in heat or something.
Now the next man will have nothing to chase after but me and my personality; what I truly have to offer, not just my flower; my cherry.
They can find their metaphors elsewhere now; I’m through; through with men and their incentives.
I hate them all; at least for now.
They have no value; no net worth; I will never gain anything over time by going through them like my coffee.
I HATE MEN
(I HATE HIM); he no longer has a name or face; just another John Doe.
Now I’m healing from these wounds; putting it back together; keeping a level head.
I’ve learned my lesson: “You can’t keep a stray; they only come back to eat and then their out the door.”
Sorry to all my brothers: black, white, short, or tall; he ruined it for everyone, and now everyone must pay.
Then you can into the fold and the list just couldn’t compare.
I felt inferior to your gained knowledge and experienced wisdom.
You made me feel small, and only safe when within your warm embrace.
I couldn’t see or walk straight; Everything led to you.
You filled my head, fed my hunger, and completed my soul.
I needed you; you were my drug; my remedy; the solution to this dreadful situation of loneliness.
Everything was clear.
You were the one; the only; my man.
I loved you? Or at least I thought.
We love all things new, and when it comes to that first relationship, you fall hard and pray you never hit the pavement.
Thought I’d float forever on this feeling of euphoria; with all the things you filled my head with.
But this drug you fed to me was false; a placebo. Got me thinking you were the only thing that was strong enough to cure this sickness and pain.
I became addicted; waiting by the phone, watchin my messenger, lookin for you in our usual spots.
I can’t see ahead because I can’t get past you.
Don’t think I’ll ever shake this “Deja Vu.”
When things got heavy I knew I had a decision to make; If I was to keep you.
But what was there to think about? I wouldn’t have gone this far if I wasn’t planin on it; Right?
Isn’t this what I want (what we want)?; to show you that I’m all in; half and half, 50/50, or 75/25 when you’re down and hurtin.
I thought that in being perfect, you wouldn’t have to search any further, but it wasn’t enough.
So I became desperate, and in an attempt to seal the deal, ended up making a deal with the devil; who promises nothing in return; only grants the request followed by unforeseen consequences.
Now we’re here in the dark, and even though I can’t see your face, I can feel the excitement in your touch and heavy breathing.
This is what you’ve been waiting for, and haven’t you waited long enough? Don’t you deserve to be greedy and rush?
So I let you ravage me, because this moment will either break or seal the deal, and I have everything riding on it. (If I was to keep you)
Now It’s over; before you could even count to ten.
I had so many notions; their all out the window now.
Now I lay here, nervous from the silence as you situate yourself next to me.
I don’t feel the need to say anything, what I let you do should have said it all.
But you; what do you have to say? (Please let it be what I want to hear)
Then he speaks: “Thank You”
?, What; is that all?!
Is that all you have to say?!
That’s what someone says when their offered food, given money, a ride, offered some act of kindness.
How can “Thank You” be all you have to say after what I’ve given you; what we just shared with each other.
“Thank You?!” WHAT!!!
Now you’re putting on your clothes to go.
You give me a kiss; say you’ll come by and see me tomorrow.
But all I get is a call before you catch your flight.
Said you’d keep in touch, but I’m the only one making sure we make contact.
I try to ask about how you’re doing; let you now I care about what you do, but you never return the gesture.
Always cut me short and say you’ll call. “LIAR”
Now it’s hard to catch you.
You called once……..I missed it. Your message said you were thinking about me because it had been a week.
It shouldn’t take that long to miss the one you care about. (Excuse me, “think about the one you care about”)
But I don’t stress; I’ll take what I can get; I need whatever I can hold onto right now.
But you’re making this hard.
Now I’ve been realizing that we don’t talk very often. You won’t even return my IM’s, calls, or e-mails;
What’s going on?
I’m realizing you’re ignoring me; I’m realizing that this; whatever it was we had; is over.
But how can it be if you haven’t said anything; given an end to this short story.
I’ve tried to play it off like I don’t care, but I’m only playing myself.
How can you accept the only thing I have to give once, and then give me the cold shoulder?
A man I’ve seen willing to give up his right arm for his family, can’t even let me down gently.
Now I’m sitting here crying over you; thinking it’s got to be my fault; I had to have gone wrong somewhere with my calculations because none of it adds up.
………………………………............................................................ ................................................................
It’s been a while now, and I’m starting to be ok.
I don’t stress over the virginity thing; it’s not what makes me who I am; only what makes guys (dogs) follow you around like your in heat or something.
Now the next man will have nothing to chase after but me and my personality; what I truly have to offer, not just my flower; my cherry.
They can find their metaphors elsewhere now; I’m through; through with men and their incentives.
I hate them all; at least for now.
They have no value; no net worth; I will never gain anything over time by going through them like my coffee.
I HATE MEN
(I HATE HIM); he no longer has a name or face; just another John Doe.
Now I’m healing from these wounds; putting it back together; keeping a level head.
I’ve learned my lesson: “You can’t keep a stray; they only come back to eat and then their out the door.”
Sorry to all my brothers: black, white, short, or tall; he ruined it for everyone, and now everyone must pay.