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Wordsmyth
10-12-06, 01:09 PM
The world is mad, so I close my eyes while lights receding
Invite the nights greeting of tortured souls like a wife that’s grieving
Over trifling heathens who consort with those who like deceiving
But the plight of Eden doesn’t justify the life they’re leading
Or so it was taught to me by the forefathers who fought for me
But unfortunately I didn’t become the man I was brought up to be
Caught up with thieves, murderous people incensed with this nation
A senseless invasion that will surely cause the events of revelation
……Prominent leaders berate us the proof is outrageous
Truth is they want to erase the INOCENT YOUTH from the PAGES
Cowering fools with souring views legislate and devour the rules
……Meanwhile another child just brought firepower to school
A higher power is cool but oddly for enough it’s not god they trust
All they discuss is evolution from dust but still holds no solutions for us
So how should I act out, stand down forgo this mess and back out
Or go in this building bomb strapped to my chest….then just blackout…

BOOM!!

Nasty Manny
10-17-06, 11:07 AM
The world is mad, so I close my eyes while lights receding
Invite the nights greeting of tortured souls like a wife that’s grieving

an hot ass opening 10/10 hommie

Wordsmyth
10-18-06, 10:25 AM
Good looks!

tx

Invisible Vision
10-19-06, 12:27 PM
not bad, pretty enjoyable, interesting things to say, socially aware....

i would say work on the flow a little, cuz although its a good read, when i was reading it out loud it wasn't as concise as i think i coulda been...like i don't know if it could even be spoken in any kinda meter... but that's just a small critique....

shlt was a good drop for sure, keep them coming...well done.

Wordsmyth
10-19-06, 02:20 PM
Thx for the feed... It's hard to relay how you would say it in text but I agree it could be a little smoother.

good looks