W.I.Z.E.
07-17-06, 09:36 PM
I used to cry when the feeling was there….
But somehow it became uncool…un masculine…un black…un strong…un me.
Seein’ something ugly that should budge me bugs me as I just shrug see it all happened so smugly.
Hardened by lifes path, my might grabs..or foolish pride to hide tears that are fluent inside yet never embrace cheeks.
Cheap I cheat feelings for discrete signs of strength but what is all meant if I’m twisted and bent but just can’t show emotion.
My devotion to being”strong”, “masculine”, “cool” and “black” has lead to a lack of expression.
See I’m guessin’ that if I was REALLY flexin’ all that I’m professin’ about being “strong” then showing ANY emotion would not be a question.
If only a session, music and movies often leads me to tears…but I look around the room even ALONE thinkin’ in fear. I can’t “cry” aint that bithclike…like open handed fistfights snappin’ my wrists tight.
With his might I speculate this hype, and try to get my sh!t right so my children can show wut I can’t…but did…
Did I lose it when I was no longer a kid? Has life hardened me to experiences that I now shrug at it’s pits.
Or has society, deemed what a true emotional response is? For a male, blackmailed, by ignorant foolish whims…
Ghoulish hyms are an after thought…before and after I thought but why are feelings caught on what my mind spray.
Heart should define ways…but yet I feel trapped..independent but lack enough to counteract.
I think before I react…blink and then I act that sequence of events just holds true feelings back.
Back when my back against walls and then all seemed so tall that a fall was inevitable..what Tyson say "impregnable"?
And so I almost forgot the feelings and the gift I fight tears while awake but wake up with soaked pillows.
But somehow it became uncool…un masculine…un black…un strong…un me.
Seein’ something ugly that should budge me bugs me as I just shrug see it all happened so smugly.
Hardened by lifes path, my might grabs..or foolish pride to hide tears that are fluent inside yet never embrace cheeks.
Cheap I cheat feelings for discrete signs of strength but what is all meant if I’m twisted and bent but just can’t show emotion.
My devotion to being”strong”, “masculine”, “cool” and “black” has lead to a lack of expression.
See I’m guessin’ that if I was REALLY flexin’ all that I’m professin’ about being “strong” then showing ANY emotion would not be a question.
If only a session, music and movies often leads me to tears…but I look around the room even ALONE thinkin’ in fear. I can’t “cry” aint that bithclike…like open handed fistfights snappin’ my wrists tight.
With his might I speculate this hype, and try to get my sh!t right so my children can show wut I can’t…but did…
Did I lose it when I was no longer a kid? Has life hardened me to experiences that I now shrug at it’s pits.
Or has society, deemed what a true emotional response is? For a male, blackmailed, by ignorant foolish whims…
Ghoulish hyms are an after thought…before and after I thought but why are feelings caught on what my mind spray.
Heart should define ways…but yet I feel trapped..independent but lack enough to counteract.
I think before I react…blink and then I act that sequence of events just holds true feelings back.
Back when my back against walls and then all seemed so tall that a fall was inevitable..what Tyson say "impregnable"?
And so I almost forgot the feelings and the gift I fight tears while awake but wake up with soaked pillows.