Need comments....

[Witness]

Way to go, and choose what is ur way/
just go and flow if u dont know better way to pray/
u must do it every day, and say what u wanna say/
dont keep it inside of u, it will just break u apart/
it will just close ur eyes, like ur girl closed ur heart/
now only thing is a shard that man stole from ur wife/
bro, even without that shard ur life is a paradise/
paradise? my life was just sleeping inside a quiet dream/
and when i wake up, i fake up that i wake up from my realm/
cuz i dont know why i sit here, in my misery and bad feeling/
every night i think of u, i must be dreaming/
now im here just cleaning, ur mess and chest that u made for ur dad/
man, why im so sad? , dont know, but i wanna know everything/
about my life that ruined, cuz of u/
now here i drink more fluids , thats alll that i can do/
its time to shoot my self with hot metal/
and after that i pray that they know my name from here to seattl/

i would like comments that what should improve with my shyt....
this set was just some paranmoid shyt :blush:
little crazy ...

[Irish-dipstick]

it was ok but it didn't flow much sort of hard to understand and i know this cause i do it to but am improving.

keep it moving.