Beliefs n Aspirations...

[slave2aplaya]

I want a man who has my back so close
that he is brushing against my calves
as he follows in the footsteps
of my 5 and a halves
I want happiness and peace
nothing less
all Im looking for is my
personal success
Ive got a new hunger
I want a number of new things
which in turn brings
a kind of reminiscing
I want freedom of choice
freedom to raise my voice
and if I want to sing
sessions of tunes
and their respective memories
can always please me
& 'tease me tease me
tease me tease me baby...
until I lose control'
I want to bare my heart & soul
through poetry
I want you to flow with me
I want so much more
than I could ever gain
I want to survive through any pain
learn how to pick myself up all over again

Im not sure I believe in God but
that doesnt mean I cant believe in anything
I believe in every child that can sing
every friend of mine
who will take the time
to listen
I believe in love and not in loathing
I believe in problem solving
I have faith in times healing properties
I believe good things can happen in threes
I believe in constuctive criticism
and inspiration
I believe in the ability of my generation

[incomplete]

comments...?

[sexydeltagirl]

Nice work, keep them coming...

[homeyjay]

nice flow and structure over all i like it, goodin'.
hj

[MOREOVER]

you're really on point.. the words bounce. NICE :thumbsup:

[Chocolate91]

very optimistic tone.

[slave2aplaya]

Thank u every1 for your comments, it means a lot.

[~Infinee Tee~]

I want a man who has my back so close
that he is brushing against my calves
as he follows in the footsteps
of my 5 and a halves...

The intro is on-point, descriptive of flirtatious/faithful love..


I've got a new hunger
I want a number of new things
which in turn brings
a kind of reminiscing


The way you linked the future to past.. tight


I want freedom of choice
freedom to raise my voice
and if I want to sing
sessions of tunes
and their respective memories
can always please me
& 'tease me tease me
tease me tease me baby...
until I lose control'


OFF THE HINGES.. this was crazy flow, this is what hooked me.


Im not sure I believe in God but
that doesnt mean I cant believe in anything


Deep.. and real..


The insert of "tease me" was HECTIC.. I'll be honest I got a bit lost at the end of stanza two .. but gotta hand you your props.. you know how to hook an audience with words... can't wait to see the finished version of this piece... big ups..

~one~

[Absolut da poet]

Fire ®

Very nice...makes me wanna write.

Keep doin ya thing...
:yes:

[slave2aplaya]

Thank u all so much 4 the love, it means the most!
xXx