im here to help you bfam...

[djbriboogie]

i have a feeling that many of you need some guidance in your sad pathetic lives. therefore i will offer my services to you. simply ask me for advice on anything, or just any questions, and i will answer them for you. i am here for you bfam, i really do care...

[Battlechild]

quick question...............


can i slap you?

or better yet can i slap you with a beer bottle lol :D

[djbriboogie]

no, and no. i think your violent tendencies are rooted from poor self image, if you want, i can try to help you :)

[Shenanigans]

what is the best cure for a headache??

[djbriboogie]

what is the best cure for a headache??


to cure a headache, you have 2 options...

1. the best way to cure it is to actually inflict a greater pain on another part of your body, your foot for example. if you have a headache, and the conventional aspirin doesn't work, try stabbing yourself in the foot. the pain will be displaced to your foot, and your head won't hurt anymore. but remember to drink plenty of orange juice.

2. excedrin

[Shenanigans]

how do i stop excessive bleading of my left foot?!! HURRY UP THIS IS URGENENT!!!!

[djbriboogie]

how do i stop excessive bleading of my left foot?!! HURRY UP THIS IS URGENENT!!!!


go to the local swimming hole and wait til leeches find you... this will stop it... if anything gets infected, gets maggots on the wound. maggots will only eat rotten flesh, this will help you avoid an infection.

[Shenanigans]

how can i survive a night without sleep and without caffeine?

[djbriboogie]

cocaine is a great alternative to caffeine... it may also help alleviate any pain your feeling from your left foot...

[Shenanigans]

no cocaine for me. do you think i will survive the night?

[djbriboogie]

tonight, yes... tommorow night is iffy... barry gave me a call and told me what you did... hes pissed...

[Shenanigans]

that is why you should only drink water.

should i use shampoo and conditioner on my locks or go eu naturelle with nothing?

[djbriboogie]

i would recommend using shampoo and a light conditioner. if you do decide to go natural, your hair will become overly oily, but will eventually cleanse itself. but because of our societies standards of what is clean, the shampoo and conditioner would be the best option...

[Shenanigans]

how many hours of sleep a night is a healthy amount? is there such a thing, mr boogie man, or too much sleep? aaand how long can one go without sleeping?

[djbriboogie]

8 hours is the ideal amount... although some recomend more... i find more sleep to actually make you lethargic during the day, and less will do the same... if you do end up feeling tired, take a nap for 20-25 minutes... any more and you will go in a state of deep sleep, and you will wake up tired again... you can go without sleep for quite a long time... doing this will affect your thought process and motor skills however, so i do not recomend staying up for over a day straight...

[Shenanigans]

you are changing my life boogie man.

how much water shall i drink in a day?

[djbriboogie]

it is recommended 8 glasses a day... this is kinda unrealisic... water is essential however, so as much as you can without having to urinate every 15 minutes should be good... it is more important if you are active, or if you have been drinking alcohol...

**drinks liter of water**

damn hangover...

[djbriboogie]

battle, even tho you havent asked for help, i think you need some...

first off, you need to send me naked pictures of your girl, then i can analyze what has been bothering you lately... its purely for diagnosis reasons (and masterbation)

[Shenanigans]

boogieman how can i start my own website? something very small, ci, with its own domain name and something which i can update regularly.

just text and perhaps a couple of pictures, ci.

simple simple, ci?

[djbriboogie]

nennany, i cannot help you with this one... i am terrible with computers, i actually dictate what i am writing right now to a helper monkey, and she types out what i say...

[Shenanigans]

nevertheless i am most impressed with you boogie man.

one day i will make a website.

[djbriboogie]

its good to have dreams, i am happy for you...

[king of tha kingdom]

what are the ten most important books i, or anyone should read?(this excludes all religous reading, i shall add)

please add on 2-4 more books to read as backups in case i've read any of your ten. gracias.

[djbriboogie]

i am not very interested in literature, and do not know many works that are beneficial...

if you tell me what you think is up there, i could probably compile a list...

[djbriboogie]

i will extend my offer bfam... shoot.

[hiphopsnextbigstar]

heh?

[djbriboogie]

you answered your own question.

[sweet&spicy]

how do i get the voices in my head to be quiet?

[djbriboogie]

what are the voices saying?

[sweet&spicy]

**** like go and find that ***** and f$#$ his brains out?

[djbriboogie]

so go find him, and fukk his brains out...

and tape it...

and post it on the internet...

only if your over 18 tho...

[sweet&spicy]

if i post it should it be a pay site? I mean i wanna make some money.

[sweet&spicy]

What about the other voices telling me to kill him while im on top?

[djbriboogie]

you should let me see the video before i let you know if its pay site material, and this only applies if you are a female 18+

and you probably shouldnt kill him, although there are some freaks out there that pay big money for snuff films...

[sweet&spicy]

well yes i am over 18, but i think ill keep the video in my collection ;)

[djbriboogie]

i recommend you PM it to me, thanks.

[Vincent Vega]

???????????????????

[djbriboogie]

susan vega >>>>>>>>>>> vincent vega

[ManicDopePresence]

im meeting a girl tonight and she said for me to bring my 'dancing shoes'. where would one purchase a pair of these?

[djbriboogie]

how much do you want to impress her? and what do you plan on wearing?

[sweet&spicy]

Whats the best way to tell someone that they are flat out dumb as a ......... F'it just DUMB?

[djbriboogie]

exactly like that... your learning quick!

[ManicDopePresence]

how much do you want to impress her? and what do you plan on wearing?

I'M the one askin the questions, buddy..

for the record, we went to a sock hop, so the shoes were an unnecesary item. thanks anyways.

[djbriboogie]

:hmm:

[Shenanigans]

how do i get green boxes?

im tired of being off the scale, i want to be JUST REALLY NICE!

[djbriboogie]

i got them from a secret admirer...

its probably alot easier to get a bunch of red ones...

and i dont know, i think im the only one that is just really nice...

boogie is the niceness.

and where you been guy? all is well?

[Shenanigans]

I'M the one askin the questions, buddy

but jeah all is well im just taking a pit stop then ZOOM ZOOM OFF I GO AGAIN VROOOOOOOM!!!

[djbriboogie]

have fun, dont do anything i wouldnt do...

[Shenanigans]

you patronising me boogieman? you PATRONISING MEEEE BOGGIMENA? i dont take well to patronisings, in fact i dont take well to patronising.

[djbriboogie]

your not a patriot?


yo, what the hell?


man, the moma is weird...


you a wine drinker shanny?