One Moe Gin
02-03-05, 11:11 AM
I dropped this in the Writing Challenge thread, but I'd like a bit more feedback on it...
Thanks for checkin...
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They told me I would go blind, so I stopped looking at the sun & stepped out of its path & quietly slipped into darkness.
They told me I would go blind, so I stopped looking at the sun & quietly slipped into darkness & wandered into life’s traffic.
They told me I would go blind, so I stopped looking at the sun & wandered into life’s traffic & quickly left the son behind. I mean, what was I supposed to do? Fight for this son that rose when I rose, & set when I set? Was I to languish in life or let this get me down? Afterall, they made it clear, my presence was no longer a present & they would no longer be present at their now former residence.
They told me I would go blind, so I stopped looking at my sun. Surely he would seek me out when he was older. We would sit & talk & I would stare & walk into his rays, awestruck at his warm touch & astonished at how much he looked just like me…from his eyes to his nose, his hands to his toes, a perfect reflection of me as if I stared into the sun. Our days apart would only serve to make his love for me shine brighter.
And I would wait for that day, when we would hold hands & walk on sands that knew no time.
And I…
Would tell of birthdays when I’d celebrate anyway, knowing that somewhere, out-there, on a
Sonday,
Or a Monday,
A tear was rolling down a cheek that looked just like mine & I cried a tear too. At least at first I did.
But then Monday turned to Tuesday & 1972 turned into 1973 & 1992 turned into 1993 & you’ve turned…
10?? 11???
20?? 21????
No you can’t be 21, you’re just a baby sun. Those long days with no rays turned to long years with no more tears & what day were you born??
It’s been so long & this is so wrong, but you were supposed to seek me out so I could
Teach you the ways & we would talk through the night & spend days soaking up the rays of sunshine & My Son would shine for me.
For My Son rose when I rose & set when I set & I only left because they told me I would go blind so I stopped looking at MY SON.
And as my son grew older, his heart grew colder, and his thoughts of 'we' didn’t include me anymore.
And..
while I dreamed of long walks on sands that knew no time, he only thought of me at times & those quickly passed, & I was part of his past and…
His hourglass knew time…
I started to panic.
My son was now a man & this wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. How had I missed those days, like his first date, or when he started to shave…I had a plan.
I should have had a plan B…
I start to think of the times I’d missed & a tear rolled down my cheek that looked just like his…
32 years later & I’m blind. For years I convinced myself that I had tried…but reality reared it’s ugly head long ago.
I no longer dream of moonlit nights & Son-kissed days…
Or walks on beaches with sands that know no time.
No, I dream of feeling my Sons rays on my face one last time before my hourglass runs out…I reach out, only to touch darkness. I cry out, but there is no answer. My Son has set.
They told me I would go blind, so I stopped looking at the sun & stepped out of its path, quietly slipped into darkness & wandered into life’s traffic a lonely, tired, old, blind, fool…
Thanks for checkin...
-------------
They told me I would go blind, so I stopped looking at the sun & stepped out of its path & quietly slipped into darkness.
They told me I would go blind, so I stopped looking at the sun & quietly slipped into darkness & wandered into life’s traffic.
They told me I would go blind, so I stopped looking at the sun & wandered into life’s traffic & quickly left the son behind. I mean, what was I supposed to do? Fight for this son that rose when I rose, & set when I set? Was I to languish in life or let this get me down? Afterall, they made it clear, my presence was no longer a present & they would no longer be present at their now former residence.
They told me I would go blind, so I stopped looking at my sun. Surely he would seek me out when he was older. We would sit & talk & I would stare & walk into his rays, awestruck at his warm touch & astonished at how much he looked just like me…from his eyes to his nose, his hands to his toes, a perfect reflection of me as if I stared into the sun. Our days apart would only serve to make his love for me shine brighter.
And I would wait for that day, when we would hold hands & walk on sands that knew no time.
And I…
Would tell of birthdays when I’d celebrate anyway, knowing that somewhere, out-there, on a
Sonday,
Or a Monday,
A tear was rolling down a cheek that looked just like mine & I cried a tear too. At least at first I did.
But then Monday turned to Tuesday & 1972 turned into 1973 & 1992 turned into 1993 & you’ve turned…
10?? 11???
20?? 21????
No you can’t be 21, you’re just a baby sun. Those long days with no rays turned to long years with no more tears & what day were you born??
It’s been so long & this is so wrong, but you were supposed to seek me out so I could
Teach you the ways & we would talk through the night & spend days soaking up the rays of sunshine & My Son would shine for me.
For My Son rose when I rose & set when I set & I only left because they told me I would go blind so I stopped looking at MY SON.
And as my son grew older, his heart grew colder, and his thoughts of 'we' didn’t include me anymore.
And..
while I dreamed of long walks on sands that knew no time, he only thought of me at times & those quickly passed, & I was part of his past and…
His hourglass knew time…
I started to panic.
My son was now a man & this wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. How had I missed those days, like his first date, or when he started to shave…I had a plan.
I should have had a plan B…
I start to think of the times I’d missed & a tear rolled down my cheek that looked just like his…
32 years later & I’m blind. For years I convinced myself that I had tried…but reality reared it’s ugly head long ago.
I no longer dream of moonlit nights & Son-kissed days…
Or walks on beaches with sands that know no time.
No, I dream of feeling my Sons rays on my face one last time before my hourglass runs out…I reach out, only to touch darkness. I cry out, but there is no answer. My Son has set.
They told me I would go blind, so I stopped looking at the sun & stepped out of its path, quietly slipped into darkness & wandered into life’s traffic a lonely, tired, old, blind, fool…