Writing Challenge II

[CSquare43]

The last one went well, so let's try this again. This 1st line is a bit more open to your translation, so run with it however it moves you...

SO...using this as your 1st line, drop a piece in this thread.

"The Sweetest Melody..."

[ovb81]

The Sweetest Melody can not be heard
can not be put into a sonnet, drum solo or words
cant be put into adjectives nouns or verbs
it is you,
as i sway to your unheard rhythm
i grab your hips as we take a dip
forget a summer trip
because you have me on cloud nine
feelings devine, wanting to worship you like a shrine
your melody makes me smile like shoving orange rhines in my mouth
you have a unwritten song in my mind that i cant get out
euphoric innuindues blank my pyscie
just hoping one day you would like me,
but til than you will just be on my mind like hoods and caps be
playing the sweetest nothings the world will never hear

[Abs_inth da prophet]

Good looking... I'll get something in here soon

And I'll see if my alter~ego feels up to it also.

[Abs_inth da prophet]

Our Song of Crazy Love
By Absolut
(Something quick read it all to-ge-ther)

"The Sweetest Melody" plays on me in these Keys of shame when depressed.
That it seems this ebony name opens dreams of pain in my chest

...Our Song of Crazy Love

Became Augmented days through this up & down of sane left...
In the fall's...rays...I embrace these Pulses of blame in breathes...
that came and went...as a Song of Crazy love
Was meant...To be or not..To be
or just...
living til the state of being stopped in me

..our song of crazy love was incest.

And it sings a way my life to death.
All I hope to say in notes I've sent...goodbye

...in crazy songs of love...that died.

[homeyjay]

The last one went well, so let's try this again. This 1st line is a bit more open to your translation, so run with it however it moves you...

SO...using this as your 1st line, drop a piece in this thread.

"The Sweetest Melody..."

Comes early in the morning is in my back yard coming from a bird's nest in a tree

The Sweetest Smell comes from the kitchen and it smells like collard greens and fried chicken.

The Sweetest Taste comes from a slug of cornbread with melted butter on top and a

plate of greens placed perfectly on the table to catch any crumbs that may drop.

The Sweetest Sound is the jibberish that comes from a baby trying to communicate

or the girls singing songs while playing jump rope.

The Sweetest Time is when all mankind will be treated as equals and be truly free

The sweetest melody is when all branches of the family meets over momma's house

and everybody's eating, talking, laughing and spreading love amongst the place.

And you practically have to yell over the noise to be heard.

The Sweetest Melody is a jump shot that hits nothing but net... word!

[Absolut da poet]

+duplicate post edit+


Yeah I'm coming abstract as fuk

[Absolut da poet]

Broken Records
By Absolut®



"The Sweetest Melody"
Rose from these leaves of May
While so "Unchaining My Heart"
Knowing the blues of RAY

I felt..
...
My..
.......
Still Going.
....
.....

Still...

I feel so..
...
left in the lost of until....
..
........I feel...
..
Forever loved my time on space
...I feel..
I've lost all my thoughts in tune
Over...
faces that just had to watch
Unsafe...unsafe
...
In touch
....
With eyes dotted in doom
.....
I feel...
..
Fate...
"Singing Me over the moon"
While...
Piling Lies of beginning dates
Rise...
....soon
In...
The darkness of AM's **Wait**
But never enough...
I see these days
The road ahead looks...**fuzy**
And the going gets...**static**
...
I see these days..
Lyrically as a cloudy page
Literally
..
I want it to end
The pace...
The chase...
The penning of my RACE

Broken records,
...records broken
Broken records,
...records broken
Broken records,
...records broken
Broken records...broken records...broken records...

[Apex]

The Sweetest Melody is not the imitation
it is the genuine inebriation

[slave2aplaya]

The Sweetest Melody
I felt set me free
came from the keys
you pressed
& pushed on me
constantly
you were playing me
wrong
with the sweetest
song
while I was naive
enough to believe
you were playing it just for me
the sweetest melody
I thought of as a dedication
while you were seeking
a standing ovation
from every other female
on the sidelines
reading lines
of sheet music
I got so sick
of the cryptic
messages
you kept sending me
unwittingly
forcing me
to lie and try
to hurt you
going mental
seeing the potential
pain you could cause me
every part of me is open
and vulnerable
to your brain freeze
nothing but a tease
****ed up yet oh so sweet
...melodies...
that you play on me
on my heart
so even when we are apart
I can still hear each note
I tote, they float
aimlessly
around my head
until Im dizzy
with all the fizzy feelings
you convince me
mean love
but now I see
reality
I can finally break free
if you would just please
stop those sweet melodies
from calling me...

[MESO]

Mingling Over Wine

Sweetest melody opens with a soft smack
Dropping my heart like an elevator missing the floor
I breathe deep in anticipation opening my eyelids' heavy doors
You pronounce my name so uniquely
Initialed with a dabbed paint brush to board
Diamond glossed pupils know what I'm thinking
Do I have to say anymore?
I exaggerate my stare in agreement
Conscience bubbling, I pretend to ignore
Slightly blushing in guilt of the achievement that sweet melody pours

'... Nice to finally meet you'

'... Yes, I've been looking forward'

[Xllicit]

Need feedback on this peeps, please do provide constructive critisism on this. Getting ready to complete my album in 2005, tell me how you feel it...


Smooth skin, sent to shiver my senses
Beleiving nothing like this would ever happen again
Blinded by distance, caught in the mystery of your existance
Standing to keep focus and not lose the gain
Practicing innocence with unlimited desire
Captured by the touch, addicted through the wire
of an undeniable masculine sound
Blew me away to never be found
Into this state of mind of clarity
Pure heat flowin' through my veins
As long as kept in captivity
When distance can easily become pain
Take my chain in exchange
Meet me now, or later... on memory lane


Peace out y'all :afro:

[Xllicit]

Once again peeps, keep it real !!!


It started off with multiple problems
Hidden in my end of the past
Enlighten by a force, they started disapearing
A love greater and stronger, that even possessed class
Had them millions of molecules of chemistry
Explode and send this breeze that romanced me
Splendid like a new born sent to this life
Living everything to feel, for the very first time
It might be a surprise for a while
To finally realise there's an end to this child
The feeling deep inside me has remained the same
The aura that surrounds you still makes me call your name
But if this scenery remains forever an image in me
The Sun shining over my shoulder will disapear gradually
To one day, be brought back in front of my face
To ask me to be one, to go to no other place
Until then, while the rain and my tears continue to feud
This story, will to forever be continued...

Bring it :afro:

[ILLyod Lyn]

The Sweetest Melody sways softly in my head.
Shifting about as the tune of UNDERSTANDING.
An eternity of good is oh so saccharine
sweet,
A life that is ever lasting.
“Your way of love is wrong!” I said to all that have endured the discipline of song,
I told them the root of their traditions are misguided but their good intentions still do belong.
So I went on to spread the teachings of the Sweetest Melody,
To restore the sick and demented recessives and allow them to live as one of the blessed,
A -GIFT- I- GIVE- FOR- FREE!
So to them I said…
“Endure the weight of world and the fate of your fellow man,
Take control of those that wish not follow,
Make sure not to fulfill their demands.
Enshrine the tune,
This sweet reward are things to come when my deeds are done.
So sing this song to all that belong,
And the sacrificial lambs will succumb!”

This is the only thing that came to mind heh....

[MESO]

Mingling Over Wine

Sweetest melody opens with a soft smack
Dropping my heart like an elevator missing the floor
I breathe deep in anticipation opening my eyelids' heavy doors
You pronounce my name so uniquely
Initialed with a dabbed paint brush to board
Diamond glossed pupils know what I'm thinking
Do I have to say anymore?
I exaggerate my stare in agreement
Conscience bubbling, I pretend to ignore
Slightly blushing in guilt of the achievement that sweet melody pours

'... Nice to finally meet you'

'... Yes, I've been looking forward' :yes:

[the ancient]

you never came to see me
save everything
I seen you crave
even thou you say you don't need me

I wish that you were here
I miss you every day
knowing your no where near

I should be happy that you are gone
and that I'm still here
but I'm not

Missing that spark that ain't coming back
all the sweetests smells now smell like crap

[the ancient]

Need feedback on this peeps, please do provide constructive critisism on this. Getting ready to complete my album in 2005, tell me how you feel it...


Smooth skin, sent to shiver my senses
Beleiving nothing like this would ever happen again
Blinded by distance, caught in the mystery of your existance
Standing to keep focus and not lose the gain
Practicing innocence with unlimited desire
Captured by the touch, addicted through the wire
of an undeniable masculine sound
Blew me away to never be found
Into this state of mind of clarity
Pure heat flowin' through my veins
As long as kept in captivity
When distance can easily become pain
Take my chain in exchange
Meet me now, or later... on memory lane


I'm not sure what your publishing, whether or not it be music or poetry, spoken word or a book.. whatever the case, I like your style of writing because it reminds me of my own, alas, I'd say most would like to see more adjectives and description into your emotions and that around you, but meh all in all I didn't mind it, and as always, you tried to end it with something awe inspiriing ;) I do it too

[MESO]

Mingling Over Wine

Sweetest melody opens with a soft smack
Dropping my heart like an elevator missing the floor
I breathe deep in anticipation opening my eyelids' heavy doors
You pronounce my name so uniquely
Initialed with a dabbed paint brush to board
Diamond glossed pupils know what I'm thinking
Do I have to say anymore?
I exaggerate my stare in agreement
Conscience bubbling, I pretend to ignore
Slightly blushing in guilt of the achievement that sweet melody pours

'... Nice to finally meet you'

'... Yes, I've been looking forward'

[Xllicit]

I'm not sure what your publishing, whether or not it be music or poetry, spoken word or a book.. whatever the case, I like your style of writing because it reminds me of my own, alas, I'd say most would like to see more adjectives and description into your emotions and that around you, but meh all in all I didn't mind it, and as always, you tried to end it with something awe inspiriing ;) I do it too

I am putting out an album this year, I already have a good demo. This is basically a lyrical display of what I can put out. I can't really explain more than that on the emotion side of what I wrote. It's the essential base of what the song will be about. Of course I will elaborate once I hear the perfect beat for it, which should be a unique instrumental light sound just to keep it as deep as I want it to be. However, thanks a lot for you comment, it's really appreciated ;)

[ovb81]

i took what i had before and made it a whole poem tell me what yall think:

The sweetest melody

The Sweetest Melody can not be heard
can not be put into a sonnet, drum solo or words
cant be put into adjectives nouns or verbs
it is you,
as I sway to your unheard rhythm
I grab your hips as we take a dip
forget a summer trip
because you have me on cloud nine
feelings divine, wanting to worship you like a shrine
your melody makes me smile like shoving orange rhines in my mouth
you have a unwritten song in my mind that I cant get out
euphoric innuendoes blank my psyche
on my mind like hoods and caps be
playing the sweetest nothings the world will never hear
But it resonates in my head from ear to ear
Brings tears that no one can understand
Making a young boy out of a man
Feelings that used to be so opaque and bland
Now are vibrant colors and seasoned
Making me giddy for no reason
My senses you are teasing
While your body I want to please and
Please madam may I have this dance
I cant, but for this song no one hears does it matter
Only 2 hearts can hear what music our souls play
Never wanting to stray from the thought
The touch, the feeling of you
And no melody would be sweeter than the one that is never heard

[skatethewall]

The sweetest melody
I hear it in my memories
In my dreams
I long to hear it now
Again

Gone
Leaving me burning
Wanting
Your fierceness
Your devastating beauty

The thing that we barely jumped into
It was dark
It was beautiful
So beautiful
Flesh could scarcely contain it
Vibrating with intense light
Excruciating pleasure

The sweetest melody
Your deep commanding voice
Teasing me
Exciting me
I cannot breathe
The sweetest melody
One note
My breath
Lusty
My chest,
Heaving
My body,
Needing
Your hands

The sweetest melody
Hearing me
Over the miles
Through an undeniable connection
Something psychic
Something real


:inlove:

[slave2aplaya]

yup. its alllllll good stuff

[Abs_inth da prophet]

boost

[persia]

my contribution:


The sweetest melody woke me from my sleep this morning
And I realized you were still there, watching me sleepy and yawning
Last night I gave you a part of me that was more than the physical
The trust the allowed the walls to come down and the real me to be visible
Amazed, I sit listening to the sound that has become my sunshine
You telling me you love me for my body, my soul and my mind
That it’s because of, not despite, the demons I carry that you hold me
Tighter when it rains
Because you know that’s when I reflect on life’s pains
And you have made it your mission to replace that tradition
With love making if I would just stop and listen
To the sweetest melody that woke me from my sleep this morning
And I realize that you still are and will always be here, watching me sleepy and yawning