Just sum **** i wrote bout my life

[Timlester]

alrite be honest of what you think as long as its constructive criticism

"I live my life looking back on everything that went on,
Hurt by pain of my reality, consumed by self hatred,
I've had enough its gone on for far too long,
what i faced as a child has left my memory tainted,

Turned to myself trying to find a remedy,
but all i got was emptiness, hoping that those
that torchered will feel the pain that i see,
never been secure of myself don't know what to do all i have is this,

Everyday i look around but nutthing seems real
i laugh at what has become of me but i sumhow dont get the joke,
wondering how i'm gonna make it in this world
i feel like i wasn't given a fair deal..on this pathetic existence i choke,

Pressures of this world have eaten me alive
nothing left to feel confused by my options
often feel like the only way to deal with this is to end it..say Good Bye!
Life is worthless if i can fight this problem

Girls have dismissed me, friends are few
society has locked me out and thrown away the key
I have to be accpted or i''l end up like you
Well i guess i have to live on, faced with a distorted reality. "

[Timlester]

um sum feedback would be appreciated

[groupie destroyer]

its interesting....not the most challenging or fresh piece,but it was definitely engaging.is your life really that desparate at the minute man?keep writing and expressing yourself.....ive always found it theraputic when i wanted to sink into a hole in the ground and never be found.you'll also improve,and develop your own style of writing.so keep it up!

peace

[Timlester]

aiight kool thanx for the comment, yeah there are times when i feel like that, especially at mo, since i got no job, no gf, no driving licence(yet), not makin much money, .....but i aint tryna sound like no one else has those problems i'm just saying what i feel..and that's real!


more feedback please

[groupie destroyer]

aiight kool thanx for the comment, yeah there are times when i feel like that, especially at mo, since i got no job, no gf, no driving licence(yet), not makin much money, .....but i aint tryna sound like no one else has those problems i'm just saying what i feel..and that's real!


more feedback please


i can appreciate that man.....keep expressing yourself

peace

[Timlester]

aiight ne1 else gonna say sumthing here?

[Timlester]

errr hello?

[groupie destroyer]

never mind.....keep writing and get some recognition

[Timlester]

what do you mean? never mind? are u saying its crap?

[groupie destroyer]

what do you mean? never mind? are u saying its crap?


lol,sorry bout that.....i didnt mean by "never mind" that it was crap-i was talkin bout the fact that i was the only one to give you any feedback!its a good effort...very genuine,open and individual.keep writing and you'll get some feedback from others but just me!

peace

[Timlester]

oh ok sorry..still looking for other ppl to respond to this please

[groupie destroyer]

oh ok sorry..still looking for other ppl to respond to this please


to be honest man....i dont think anyone is gonna respond to this.....if they would respond,it would have happened already.just write some more stuff and post it up....then you should start getting feedback

peace

[MTLV]

I feel you ;)

[Joemama0203]

I think it is very honest. I don't there is a such thing as "fresh" because we all feel the same way at times. When you put your self out there like that it touches someone else bcuz they can feel you. My comment is just keep it honest and real. Stay writing,it helps to sort through all the garbage that goes on in our minds.

[homeyjay]

I like the fact that your piece is raw, raw in like you just started writing down your feelings from jump street, with no orchestration. Let your style show never compromise, there are those who can relate to you and there are those who will appreciate your style. Like they say "the further you go the more you'll know", so keep putting in the work, the rewards will come one way or another, and keep the voice of the street alive and sometimes when you are writing you can write up on a solution to your problems. Remember when times are hard you're almost always gonna have to go it alone. But at least you'll know who's got ya' back when you bust through this thing cause that's all it is. Oh and it was cool over all.

[Timlester]

aiight well thanx to all of you for dropping a response much appreciated, and yeah i will take the advice on sticking to this writing thing

[groupie destroyer]

cool....some more people giving feedback.there's some good advice there too

peace

[talniquo]

I Think Your Writing Was Real Cant Get No Better Than Than A Poets Job On His Or Her Work Is Never Done.

[Timlester]

kool thanx talniquo ppreciate the time. I'll be writing sum more stuff soon.

[Timlester]

aiight i guess it's not great but you cant blame a person for trying

[Timlester]

just wanna say thanx to all those who dropped sum feedback on this, appreciate it fo real!

[skatethewall]

You still have time! People "Start over" at all different stages of life! We ALL go through this, I know I have. I think if we never give up and don't give up on the creative spirit and what makes you unique, then good things will happen. In my opinion your writing was good; you used it to explore your questions and your pain.

[Timlester]

yeah thats exactly rite. I wasnt in any way tryin to sound like i am the only one with problems, cos i'm not. But i just needed to get a few things off my chest. ne ways thanx for replying ppreciate it alot

[Chocolate91]

I like ur piece a lot, i think we all feel that way sometymes. Neva stop writin' tho. The more u write the betta u get- the more detailed ur feelins and situations will be, more complex u poems will be (dependin' on the style u r going 4). But, as long as u r writing, u will be able to use ur words & ideas as ur weapon and/or sources of inspiration.

[maja]

life aint sh** ...ya'll better solve the problem before the problem solve ya
-a lil bit too much drama, but aight...never let some make me go that far to "say good bye"

[homeyjay]

life aint sh** ...ya'll better solve the problem before the problem solve ya
-a lil bit too much drama, but aight...never let some make me go that far to "say good bye"

Never say never 'cause it'll come back and bite you in da' butt big time. Everyone is gonna meet their match sooner or later. Like that song by the Spinners "everybody plays the fool sometime".

[Timlester]

damn i havent been back to this site in a while, but thanx to all those that replied, life has become a bit better since i wrote that ****. I guess poets are at their best when they speak the truth despite any embarrassing consequences(secrets revealed etc). I'll prob drop another poem soon, so keep an eye out!